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The Shift with Sam Baker

Esther Freud on upending your life in your 50s - THE SHIFT REVISITED

The Shift with Sam Baker

Sam Baker Ltd

Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Personal Journals

4.8525 Ratings

🗓️ 8 July 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week we're going way back in The Shift archives, to one of the earliest episodes I recorded with novelist Esther Freud. This summer Esther will be a guest of The Shift bookclub, to talk about her new novel, My Sister and Other Lovers - her long-awaited sort-of-sequel to her smash hit autofiction, Hideous Kinky, about her childhood with her sister Bella Freud (who was on The Shift podcast last autumn - listen here). Here's the chat Esther and I had back in 2021... ---- How does it feel to come from a family with a legend? If you’re today’s guest, novelist and playwright Esther Freud (daughter of painter Lucian Freud and great granddaughter of Sigmund Freud) you work with that legacy to produce some of the finest novels of the last thirty years. Her first Hideous Kinky, based on her unusual childhood, was made into a film starring Kate Winslet and after the follow-up, Peerless Flats, she was named one of Granta’s Best Young Novelists. Scroll forward a couple of decades and her ninth novel, I Couldn’t Love You More, comes full circle, this time exploring aspects of her family’s history through the lens of three generations of mothers. (Bring tissues!) Over the next 40 minutes Esther talks candidly about motherhood, guilt, shame, the way women are constantly judged, her own entangled family history, how the onset of menopause made her question everything and why now 57 she’s happier than ever.  CONTENT WARNING: There’s some conversation about forced adoption and Ireland’s mother and baby homes that some people may find upsetting. * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at ⁠The Shift Bookshop on bookshop.org⁠ including I Couldn't Love You More and My Sister and Other Lovers and the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on ⁠buymeacoffee.com⁠ • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at ⁠https://theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com⁠. • The Shift (on life after 40) with Sam Baker is created and hosted by Sam Baker. This episode was edited by Emily Sandford. If you enjoyed this podcast, please rate/review/follow as it really does help other people find us. And let me know what you think on twitter @sambaker or instagram @theothersambaker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Jamie Lang and Sophie Haboo have arrived on Disney Plus.

0:04.0

We're having a baby.

0:06.0

We're having a baby.

0:07.0

I've always wanted to be mom.

0:09.0

And we're bringing you on our journey through everything.

0:12.0

I have no idea what we're doing.

0:13.0

Thank you. I have more of an idea.

0:15.0

I think of it like a Tamagocchi.

0:17.0

At the end of all of this...

0:20.0

We're going to have a little baby.

0:21.6

Raising Chelsea, a Hulu original series streaming exclusively on Disney Plus.

0:26.6

18 plus subscription required T's and T supply.

0:33.6

Hello and welcome to The Shift, the podcast that aims to tell the no-holds-barred truth about being a woman post-40, created and hosted by me, journalist and author Sam Baker.

0:45.3

How does it feel to come from a family with a legend? If you're today's guest, novelist and playwright Esther Freud, you work with that legacy to produce some of the finest novels

0:54.9

of the last 30 years. Her first, Hideous Kinky, based on her unusual childhood, was made into a film

1:01.8

starring Kate Winslet, and after the follow-up, Peerless Flats, she was named one of Granta's

1:07.5

best young novelists. Scroll forward a couple of decades and her ninth novel,

1:12.6

I Couldn't Love You More, comes full circle. This time exploring aspects of her family's history

1:17.9

through the lens of three generations of mothers best brink tissues. So many things in my life

1:24.0

and in my marriage didn't suit me at all. And I didn't actually have any sign of

1:28.0

menopause. But I went to a doctor who said, no, I'm sorry. I have good news and bad news. You have

1:33.6

no menopause or symptoms. It's just your life. Over the next 40 minutes, Esther talks candidly

...

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