Esther Calling - Stuck in the Middle

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 15.6K Ratings

🗓️ 28 July 2025

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

He prides himself on being an empathic confidante to his friends…but is it to a fault? In this classic episode of Esther Calling, we meet a man fed up with being the container for his friends’ relationship woes. But, he wonders, can put up barriers without losing the intimacy of those friendships? Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected]. For the month of July, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infidelity, or the perils of modern dating. It's also a place to follow up with couples and find out where their stories went. You'll also get an ad-free version of all the episodes. Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	What you are about to hear is a classic Esther calling, a one-time intervention phone call recorded remotely from two points somewhere in the world.
0:10.0	Hi Esther. I just have a question for you today about setting boundaries and friendships and if setting those boundaries might mean the end of a
0:24.2	friendship. So two friends of mine are in a relationship and have been for a long time, as long as I've
0:32.3	known them. And they have what I would call a dysfunctional relationship, and that when it's good, it's great.
0:40.0	They go through these really difficult lows.
0:44.2	And because I am friends with both of them, I end up getting both sides of the story quite often.
0:50.8	And it can be incredibly draining.
0:55.0	And I want to set in place boundaries that say, listen, I'm not your therapist.
1:02.2	I'm not your relationship counselor.
1:04.2	I don't want to talk about those things.
1:06.5	But I also don't want to lose the intimacy of our friendship.
1:10.9	It feels like it's in either or kind of a situation, I think.
1:15.5	So that is that.
1:19.1	Thank you for your health.
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