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Hello, and welcome to EscapePod. I'm your host and co-editor, Mer Lafferty. This week, we bring

you a Cosmonauts guide to talking to your parents by Adriana Grigalra. Adriana is a writer

from their windswept plains of Romania. They have a degree in language and literature, a

pension for folklore, and a tendency to overwater houseplants. You can find their fiction

in Clark's world, beneath Seaseless Skies, the magazine of fantasy and science fiction,

and others. Our narrator is Bryce Dulley. Bryce is a beginner voice actor whose recorder

has shared multiple stories for the tales to terrify podcasts, along with character

voice in monsters out of the closet episode 33. When he's not working or hanging out with

his wife, he uploads some of his own recordings to his YouTube channel, Awkward Mammal. This

story is an EscapePod original. Make sure your tether is anchored safely because it's storytime.

A Cosmonauts guide to talking to your parents. Written by Adriana C. Grigalra. Narrated by Bryce

Dulley. You have three unopened voice-mills on your personal line. Last received 31 minutes

ago or a minor time. Read? No, switch to broadcast. Engage deep space satellite? Yes, on

say a five-sector perimeter. Live transmission, a pod connection? Sure. And when I said that

no, I didn't order the pie. I made it myself. They said, they said, oh, you shouldn't have

made such a mess. And I, well, I cried. Yeah. It's, it's like the mess was all they saw,

you know? And you wanted them to see you. Yeah, I mean, doesn't everyone? Sam looked at the

canopy of stars, passed the asteroid belt he was supposed to be mapping. None of them would have

...