Erotic Transference and Dating Bad Therapists
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.6 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 30 June 2025
⏱️ 48 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.
00:00 Happy birthday Bob!
01:05 Why does erotic transference occur?
13:16 What is the card game 13?
14:12 Who would Bob and Dr. Kirk like to interview?
19:31 Is dating a therapist a bad idea?
31:37 How can you know your therapist cares about you?
37:24 'O' OPP
41:00 Has the podcast inspired others to pursue a career in mental health?
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June 30, 2025
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | So Bob, it was your birthday recently, and as a gift to you, I decided to beat you at 13, the card game that we play. |
| 0:08.8 | Normally, you win all the time. |
| 0:11.6 | I've been keeping track of our collective scores, and even though I was up by 8 on Saturday, you're still up by 10 overall since I started keeping track a few years ago. |
| 0:26.1 | So happy birthday to you for that. |
| 0:29.1 | How did it feel receiving that gift? |
| 0:31.8 | Yeah, I didn't realize it was eight. |
| 0:35.2 | And did you notice my hands hurt from shuffling cards? I don't know what's happening to me and getting old. Yeah. Anyways, in terms of the thrashing you offered me, I've had better birthday presents. |
| 0:47.7 | Normally, you are thrashing me. So this was a bit of a regression to the mean. But yeah, right. That's right. But if this is a |
| 0:56.7 | repeat of the past for the next five outings we have, you will shalak me because that's usually what |
| 1:03.6 | happens. But let's answer some emails. This email is from anonymous patron. She says, |
| 1:09.1 | Hi, Kirk and Bob. I just listened to your episode on erotic transference. |
| 1:12.6 | I used to experience intense erotic transference with my therapist, but thankfully the situation has been much better these days. |
| 1:20.6 | What frustrates me, however, is that these erotic feelings don't just occur within the therapy room. |
| 1:26.6 | They often extend to interactions within other male authority figures in my life. |
| 1:32.8 | You've mentioned that these feelings might stem from unmet attachment needs, |
| 1:36.6 | but in my case, I notice an underlying sense of fear alongside the erotic feelings. |
| 1:42.5 | It feels almost like an attempt to react to some kind of sexual |
| 1:46.4 | trauma that I don't consciously remember. Could this be a trauma response or might it be connected |
| 1:53.0 | to a disorganized attachment style? Does treatment differ depending on underlying causes of erotic |
| 2:00.0 | transference? Thank you both. |
| 2:01.2 | I love your podcast. |
| 2:02.6 | Bob, what do you think? |
... |
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