Hey everyone, this is Prentice and welcome to Becoming the People.

So I've thought a lot about refusal or abstinence in our developmental processes,

like what it actually gives us to abstain from something.

And if I'm just honest for a second, I know that I can be a little bit more prone to the kind

of rigor, discipline side of things.

But it's mostly because I think rigor and discipline and all of that is a little bit underutilized

when we think about our patterns and addictions.

I had a year of intentional celibacy when I was probably 27 or 28, where I did not engage sexually with anybody.

And I really credit that time in my life as a time where I grew up a lot, or I really could just feel myself a lot more

and feel my wants and desires arise,

feel my places where I didn't have desire,

places where I actually wanted to move away.

I could feel all of that a little bit more

because I created this space, artificial or not.

It gave me a better vantage point where I could view some of my compulsions around sex that actually allowed me to change and reconnect to what I really, really longed for

in relationships with other people.

It's kind of a weird time to talk about abstinence or

discipline around sex or whatever it might be, especially where there's so much trying to control

our sexuality and control people's sexuality for other people's aims or interests. And I actually think there's a way that these conversations can help us reclaim our own bodies

and desires outside of the reach of those that want to control us and control our every movement

and every feeling.

So this conversation with Melissa Fibos was really exciting to me

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