Eric Cartman vs Caillou - Who Would Win Unleashed
Who Would Win Masters
Ray Stakenas
4.7 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 16 October 2025
⏱️ 44 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
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Summary
Eric Holmes unleashes Eric Cartman—South Park’s dark prince of manipulation, unfiltered fury, and snack-fueled schemes.
James Gavsie responds with Caillou—the deceptively resilient preschooler whose innocence, persistence, and boundless energy make him harder to stop than he looks.
It’s chaos versus naivety. Malice versus optimism. Could Cartman’s cruelty crush Caillou’s spirit, or will simplicity be Cartman’s ultimate undoing?
Listen now to find out....Who. Would. Win?
Strap in—this is Who Would Win: UNLEASHED at its finest.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello, Legion of Audience. This is James, and before we get started today, I wanted to take a second and let you all know about the brand new Who Would Win Patreon. |
| 0:08.8 | If you'd like to support the show and get behind the scenes access like you've never seen before, go to Patreon.com slash Who Would Win Show right now. |
| 0:16.6 | Who would win patrons will have access to outtake videos, early info on battles, and even get a vote on characters that will use in upcoming episodes. |
| 0:23.7 | So if you'd like to support me and the show, head to patreon.com slash who would win show. |
| 0:27.8 | And for as little as five bucks a month, you can define yourself as more than just a fan. |
| 0:32.4 | You'll be an official member of the Legion. |
| 0:34.7 | Hope to see you there. |
| 0:49.6 | Music of the Legion. Hope to see you there. And welcome to another episode of Who Would Win. |
| 0:52.0 | I show that completely ignores anything important to happen in the world and instead |
| 0:54.8 | focuses on a fictional battle between characters from the worlds of comics, sci-fi, and fantasy. |
| 0:59.1 | I'm your host, James Gavs, as always, I'm joined by the one and only the icon himself, |
| 1:03.1 | Eric Holmes. |
| 1:05.0 | In today's episode, a four-year-old child with limitless imagination and reality-breaking |
| 1:10.3 | tantrum powers, battles a morally |
| 1:12.5 | bankrupt mastermind capable of psychological warfare and outlandishly disproportionate revenge. |
| 1:18.6 | If I had a dollar for every time I said those exact words, I'd have like $12. |
| 1:22.7 | It's crazy. |
| 1:23.5 | In one corner, you have Cayu, a preschooler with a magical internal universe. |
| 1:27.1 | And in the other corner, you have Eric Freakin Cartman, a diabolical eight-year-old whose lack of a moral compass, is matched only by his ability to scheme and win at any cost. As usual, I did the padded hood-win Google test. Just to see how many times this matchup has been discussed. I believe I'm now on an official FBI list, by the way, by seeing this, this battle actually took place. |
| 1:47.1 | Got to be very careful in your, you're searching queries and what have you. |
| 1:50.9 | And you're going to laugh. |
| 1:51.8 | There's a lot of degenres out here that have actually discussed this battle in great detail of Kauyu versus Eric Cartman. |
... |
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