Reditors who work in the ER, what's the scariest, dumbest, or weirdest thing someone has come in for?

Had a lady come in for shortness of breath, began to place an oxygen mask on her, and she yells,

I'm allergic to oxygen, and pulls the mask off. I heard the doctor laugh behind the curtain.

Maybe that's why she had shortness of breath?

Morbidly obese guy came in for lower right quadrant pain. I lifted up his gut and found his

lost wallet, solved two problems at once. 20-year-old male came in for stomach pains, said he

was hungry and hadn't eaten in two days.

Maybe you should try a sandwich.

I have a male cousin who landed himself in the ER because he thought that instead of a condom,

he could put something tightly around his mail appendage and it would force everything to stay

inside.

Unfortunately, getting it off posed a problem,

and he ultimately wound up in the ER with a zip tie around his male appendage. His nickname has been

zippy for five years now. So, did it work? My friend worked in ER. She had an obese man

come in complaining of a rash under his gut. Upon

close examination, they found several splinters. When asked, the man casually replied,

Oh, that must have been from the love board. So the crew had to ask for details. Apparently,

the couple had to use a board to pry the man's gut up to get to his business

for lovemaking activities.

Well, there's an image in my mind I'll never lose.

A girl came in saying she was miscarrying, claimed 27 pregnancies and zero live births, says that

in the last two years since she went on birth control to help regulate her

...