How do you pass up the opportunity to spit blood in Joan Baez's face? Dude, I'm so funny I inverted an Epiglottis.

Let's round him a faceless and get some pajamas.

Dude, I didn't know my head was a bank.

That's fucking awesome.

I want to eat so many ducy rolls.

I just shit a tire.

I jerked off of this towel so much, it might be a surfboard.

Mr. Schmidt is an entertainer.

Not a cool.

Hey, what's happening?

Mike Schmidt, 40-year-old boy podcast.

I hit the hay hard there in the beginning.

That's not good.

That's a loud hay hard.

And don't hit the hay hard.

Here's what I can say to you.

When you're beginning anything, please don't hit the hay hard, particularly if you're a horse. Do not hit the hay. Maybe I'm a horse. I'm hitting the hay hard in the beginning. You know what you don't want. You don't want your horse hitting

the hay hard before a race. Oh my God, I'll just get sick as he's running. What if that happened?

What if a horse just gorged himself on hay before a race? Like they lost sight of him. Some trainer And then he had to go out and get a phone call from Quincy or somebody. I actually saw a Quincy episode where Quincy went to the track.

That's why it's stuck in my brain.

And then the horse was like, well, fuck this.

If I'm running today, I better carboload, man.

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