How do you pass up the opportunity to spit blood in Joan Baez's face?

I've read Mark Twain. I've read Huckleberry Finn. I think I earned the right to go out of the internet and see a guy get a chainsaw on the face. Dude, my dad was drunk and my mom was dealing with it. Guess what? I get raised by a cookie monster.

My con looks like it's been in a hockey flight. Time and stupidity. It's at the speed of goddamn light.

I got a bunch of the clocks.

Hey, what's happening? Mike Schmidt, 40-year-old boy podcast. Before we get this extravaganza underway,

before we go ahead and run downhill, whatever the fuck I got to say to you guys, let me go

ahead and reach out right now and say this. Charles Jousma.

Charles Housma.

I don't know how you pronounce your name.

If you're Brazilian, the J is silent.

I know that, so you could be Charles Huzma.

Perhaps you're Charles Jousma.

All I know is I like saying your name, Charles Jousma,

and I'm going to say it over and over again here on this show. Hi, I'm going to glad you wrote me a fucking email. I bet you are. Um, Charles Jousman is our friend. Here's who Charles is. You know, every week I do this show, I start out, I'm like, hey, how are you

folks? I'm good a fan of it.

I'm not fond of myself for falling into any sort of loop or repeating myself in any certain way.

I mean, it's going to go right in the old bonfire along with literally, which I used to say all

the time in the beginning of the years of this show. I may still say it, but I know I said it a bunch before, as well as,

I'm not going to lie to you folks, which is such a crutch that a listener, I think it was Tom

Faust perhaps, Faust, went ahead and said, I've been listening to the 40-year-old boy for 11 years,

and I can tell you this, he's not going to lie to me. He wrote that on Twitter. And you know what that did?

It elicited crickets. Actually, it made crickets get Twitter accounts just so they could Twitter

...