Episode 99: Are Your Boundaries Selfish?
The Jess Connolly Podcast
Jess Connolly
4.9 • 872 Ratings
🗓️ 15 September 2025
⏱️ 41 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What if boundaries aren’t selfish, but a way to honor God and love people better? In this episode, Jess explores what the Bible actually says about limits, how Jesus modeled them, and why healthy boundaries bring freedom. She also shares five simple questions to help you discern if a boundary in your life is Spirit-led.
Let’s go.
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Books listed in this episode: Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lysa TerKeurst +, Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey friends, I'm Jess Connolly. I'm an author, a coach, a Bible teacher, and a local church leader, |
| 0:07.1 | and I love talking to real people who know what it means to have full lives, but also want to walk in abundance. |
| 0:14.4 | This podcast is for you. It's not my podcast. It's ours. It's for people who crave lighthearted conversations and deeply |
| 0:23.4 | spiritual truth. It's for people who are busy, tired, waiting, growing, dreaming, working, |
| 0:30.4 | or praying about what's next. Wherever you're listening from, if it's quiet, mundane, or busy, |
| 0:38.8 | I am praying for you and I'm so glad you're here from, if it's quiet, mundane, or busy, I am praying for you, |
| 0:47.0 | and I'm so glad you're here. Let's go. Welcome back, friends. Today's episode is one I've been excited to record for a long time because it is a question we often get asked, especially from women like us who are in ministry, |
| 0:57.1 | leadership, the thick of motherhood, or multi-missional movement. Are boundaries selfish? |
| 1:05.4 | You've been told that saying no is unloving. You've been told that putting limits around your |
| 1:09.4 | time, energy, and relationships means you're failing, or maybe somewhere along the way, someone even told you that your boundaries |
| 1:16.0 | are unbiblical. So today, we're going to pay attention to what scripture says. We're going to |
| 1:21.0 | look at boundaries through a biblical and a theological lens. And here's a spoiler alert. I don't |
| 1:27.1 | believe your boundaries are selfish. I think they |
| 1:30.5 | actually help you live more freely with integrity honoring the one who made us. Let's go. |
| 1:39.8 | Hello my friends. I'm so excited for today's episode. We're asking the question, are your |
| 1:46.5 | boundaries selfish? And before we dig in, I just want to give a little bit of backstory. |
| 1:51.7 | Number one, a couple of years ago, I did a series on the podcast about boundaries. I think it was |
| 1:57.2 | maybe a three episode series. And I will tell you in the scope of all the podcast episodes we've ever done, |
| 2:03.4 | those are still some of the most listened to, |
| 2:06.4 | which tells me that this is a question we are asking. |
| 2:09.3 | It's something we are processing. |
| 2:11.9 | Around the same time, I remember posting about boundaries on Instagram or something. |
... |
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