Episode 94: Listener Favorite: Not Your F*cking Job!
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 574 Ratings
🗓️ 3 November 2020
⏱️ 30 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week I am re-airing a listener favorite episode - Not Your F*cking Job. Want equal partnership? Let's start with not taking on impossible tasks -- and then being blamed for not being able to accomplish them. Listen to this episode for more!
A few weeks ago, I posted in my Facebook group that I was going to write a flipbook called, Not Your Fucking Job. And it was going to be a very simple book about all the things that are not your fucking job to do for your spouse or partner. You know, things like:
Helping him heal his childhood wounds?
NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB.
Teaching him how to be a good parent?
NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB.
Proving your worth or proving your love to him?
NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB.
Or keeping him from cheating on you?
NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB.
You get the idea.
Well, in this week's episode I am going to go through about 8-10 scenarios of things that are not your fucking job and explain why you need to stop carrying allll of the weight in your relationship.
After you listen to this episode; if you realize you are doing these things, understand you are doing them out of some need to control. So what IS your job: to uncover why you're doing these things and then work to fix it, for you — not for him or for anyone else, for you. Only in this way will you have a chance at healing your marriage, or having an amicable divorce.
Here are just a few of the topics I touch on in this episode:
- Why it's not your job to heal your partner's childhood wounds
- Allowing your partner to make mistakes and clean up his (or her) own messes
- A reminder that it is not your job to beg him to love you or treat you well
- Why it's not your job to lose weight, gain weight, dye your hair or get a boob job in order to feel as though you are enough for someone. Only do these things if you WANT to, for you!
- What IS your job in your relationship
Resources & Links:
ROOTED LIVE is coming! If you think you might want out of your marriage, but you can't seem to find the courage to make a decision once and for all, and you're scared you won't have the strength to get through all that comes after you say those four words, "I want a divorce," then ROOTED is 100% for you.
ROOTED is my online coaching program which I will be taking LIVE in February. It's designed to help you FIND YOUR STRENGTH, BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE, AND STEP INTO YOUR POWER. Learn more here.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is Darlene Kate Anthony's editor back here one more time to introduce this week's |
| 0:07.1 | listener favorite episode. |
| 0:08.7 | This week, Kate is re-airing an episode all about the things that are not your job. |
| 0:17.8 | She takes on eight to ten scenarios of things that are not your job and explain why you need |
| 0:25.9 | to stop carrying all the weight in your relationship. Now, here's Kate Anthony with this week's |
| 0:32.9 | listener favorite episode. Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations |
| 0:43.2 | about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you |
| 0:49.0 | stay or should you go? |
| 0:51.1 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate |
| 0:56.2 | some of the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. |
| 1:01.9 | I've been to hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side |
| 1:07.7 | of this process with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 1:18.6 | Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast. It's solo episode |
| 1:27.3 | time. A few weeks ago, I posted in my Facebook group |
| 1:32.4 | that I was going to write a book and it was going to be called Not Your Fucking Job. |
| 1:36.7 | And it was going to be a very simple flip book about all the things that it's not your |
| 1:40.9 | fucking job to do for your spouse or partner. |
| 1:52.0 | And I kind of posted it as a joke, and then the post kind of went a little nuts-so, |
| 1:56.6 | and people were commenting on it like crazy, and then I posted it on Instagram, |
| 2:01.6 | and then I posted it on Facebook, and people had a lot to say about this. |
| 2:09.6 | And so I've decided to do this podcast episode all about not your fucking job. |
| 2:11.7 | Now, I want to be really clear. I tend to not be black and white about almost anything in relationships in in life. I'm a very gray area |
... |
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