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Madigan's Pubcast

Episode 93: Meeting Shaun Cassidy, Gangster Garage Sales, & Faking Joan of Arc

Madigan's Pubcast

Kathleen Madigan

Madigan, Comedy:stand-up, Standup, Society & Culture, Kathleen Madigan, Comedy, Stand-up

5 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 21 June 2022

⏱️ 78 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Kathleen opens the show drinking a Warbeard Irish Red Ale from Walnut River Brewing. She’s excited to tell the Termites about her recent show in Salina Kansas with her teen idol, Shaun Cassidy, who turned out to be a wonderful person. She reviews her breakfast “Screwdriver Slush” from Spangles restaurant and stopped at the Wizard of Oz Museum in Wamego, KS on her way back home to Missouri. Kathleen then describes the events of Father’s Day weekend at Lake of the Ozarks, participating in the annual Father’s Day golf tournament with her dad and sister. 

“GOOD BAD FOOD”: In her quest for new and delicious not-so-nutritious junk food AND in continuing her search for the best Ranch, Kathleen samples Wishbone Champagne Vinaigrette dressing, which she thinks is WAY too sweet and tangy. She moves on to sample Ranch Wheat Thins, which she doesn’t think taste at ALL like Ranch. She finishes her tasting with Kansas’s own Art’s & Mary’s Tater Chips, which she thinks have fantastic crunch and flavor. 

QUEEN’S COURT: Kathleen updates the Termites on the activities of the queens: Queen Dolly has given $1M to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital for pediatric infectious diseases research, Stevie Nicks closed out Bonnaroo Sunday night and finishing this leg of her tour, and Chaka Khan and Queen Tanya Tucker are both having a blast out on tour. 

UPDATES: Kathleen gives updates on the stolen Hollywood chimp found in a Missouri basement, Russia’s new McDonalds roll-out, Russian superyacht Amadea is confiscated in Fiji, McDonald’s dumps the McPlant burger, Anna Delvey mints 2,000 NFT’s to sell, and Kathleen digs further into Teal Swan’s beginnings and marketing platform

“HOLY SHIT THEY FOUND IT”: Kathleen is amazed to read about the discovery of the “The Depiction of the Madonna and Child,” Renaissance-era painting in a 90-year-old woman’s London bedroom, and the origin of the Black Death in northern Kyrgyzstan, and a woolly mammoth tusk was found off the banks of Alaska's Koyukuk River.

FAKING JOAN OF ARC: Kathleen laughs while reading an article about a Medieval woman who made a living pretending to be Joan of Arc. Claude des Armoises’s ploy lasted four years, earned her a great deal of cash—and almost ensnared the King of France himself.

ARMADILLOS CONTINUE THEIR MARCH: Kathleen is fascinated to watch the migration of armadillos in the US, so much so that she talks about it in her act. She reads an article about the mystery behind this migration, as Armadillos have now been seen as north as Virginia. 

SAFEST COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD: Kathleen reads the 2022 list of Safest Countries in the World, with Iceland taking the top spot this year. 

GAME STOP WALK-OUT: Kathleen is amused reading an article about mass walk-outs by GameStop employees, citing unhealthy work conditions. 

GEICO ORDERED TO PAY WHEN STD CONTRACTED IN A CAR: Kathleen shakes her head in disbelief when reading an article advising that a Missouri woman was awarded $5.2 million in a settlement from insurance company GEICO after contracting a sexually transmitted disease from her partner in his vehicle, which was insured by the company, court documents show.

THE AMERICAN WHO INVENTED THE DONUT: Kathleen shares the story of Maine mariner Captain Hanson Gregory, who as a teenage galley boy, turned a poorly cooked blob of sailors’ sustenance into the iconic, ring-shaped, and deep-fried delicacy we know and love today. 

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEK: Kathleen recommends watching the new Season 6 of “Peaky Blinders” on Netflix, and Teal Swan’s documentary “The Deep End” on Hulu.

SEE KATHLEEN LIVE: See Kathleen live on her “Do You Have Any Ranch?” Tour. Tickets available at kathleenmadigan.com/tour 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab

0:12.9

yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on.

0:17.4

Turn Bites! Welcome to episode 93 with my fire! This is coming out a little late because

0:31.7

well, I've been very busy. Traveling and before we get to anything, little travel tip

0:38.2

termites. A lot of people don't notice, but I flew into Kansas City and I had, I'm a

0:43.4

wizard at Avis. I don't want to throw that down like that, but just bragging. I'm a wizard.

0:49.7

Wizard Madigan, I have my card. But if you prepay for a reservation, this summer is going to be

0:55.6

completely whacked with travel. And the prices are getting crazy and I'm looking at all of it.

1:01.3

I don't know how people are affording it. I mean, I'm in the, I'm a flu-soft west,

1:05.3

naturally Kansas City. And I'm in line. There's families of six. I know what the ticket cost.

1:09.4

I don't know where the money's going from, but as long as we all keep paying it, they're going to

1:12.8

keep charging it. Anyway, fine. Let's say you get there. If you rented a car, there were about 40

1:19.5

people in line. When I got there, and I'm a wizard, so I'm special, but I prepaid, but the prepay

1:28.0

cost you more, but you're guaranteed a car. If you just make a reservation, normal people don't

1:32.7

know this shit, that if you just make a reservation, they're not guaranteeing you a car. Well, there

1:36.6

are about 40 people in the Avis line that we're not going to get a car. Or you're going to stand

1:40.0

there until someone else brings a car back. No, it's like a restaurant that overbooked. Sorry,

1:45.0

well, I know. And then one lady was like, well, I think Avis should bring a bus to take all of

1:50.4

us to the softball tournament. I'm like, lady, they only had a one bus to bring you a ear.

1:55.7

And this bus took the Kansas City airport. It's a wonderful airport. If you don't have any

2:01.0

luggage and you just get dropped off. But if you got to deal waiting on their buses and

2:06.0

they just say they're short on help like everywhere else, but that's all a travel tip termites.

...

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