Episode 807: Candice Clark, LDS Mother of Queer Kids, “No Empty Chairs” Podcast

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Religion & Spirituality

4.8 • 839 Ratings

🗓️ 23 January 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Clark (mother of 5, lives in Iowa City, Iowa) joins us to share her story of her journey to love, understand, and accept her queer kids—and the blessings of using their preferred pronouns. Candice is open about the sometimes choppy road to using preferred pronouns—but talks about how that brought improved relationships and more love, open communication, and genuine family unity and understanding. She shares ten messages a queer person might hear when we use their pronouns: You know yourself better than I know you. I would rather change the way I speak about you than hurt you repeatedly. Your sense of safety is important to me. Your identity is real and should be acknowledged. I want to teach everyone around me to respect you. Being uncomfortable is fine if I avoid being offensive. I can hear you talking and I am really listening. Being who you truly are is not an inconvenience to me. I would prefer if you kept being honest with me. I am an ally, a friend, and someone you can trust. Candice talks about her journey to encourage extended family to also use preferred pronouns—a journey that has been very difficult at times and required Candice to extend skills of grace, listening, and bridge building. Candice talks about how it is a journey worth undertaking. Candice talks about her podcast “No Empty Chairs: For Moms Whose Kids Don’t Come to Church,” becoming a life coach, and her role in and the purpose of the Facebook group “Bridges: Support for Latter-day Saint Parents of Adult Children”. If you are looking for a real-world story of better supporting the queer people in your life, please listen to Candice’s podcast and connect with her resources. Thank you, Candice, for being on the podcast. You are awesome. Your work is so needed in our community! Links: Candice’s web page: candiceclarkcoaching.com/ Candice’s FB Page: www.facebook.com/candiceclarkcoaching Candice’s Podcast: candiceclarkcoaching.com/?page_id=78 Bridges FB Group: www.facebook.com/groups/1139458306236720 FB Group for LDS Parents with LGBTQ children: www.facebook.com/groups/WalkWithYouLDSParentsOfLGBTQ

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, listeners, welcome to another episode of Listen, Learn, and Love hosted by Richard Osler.
0:09.6	My guest on today's podcast joining me from her home in Iowa City, Iowa, is my friend Candace Clark.
0:17.1	Welcome to the podcast.
0:19.4	Thanks, Richard. It's my pleasure to be here.
0:22.1	Candice is somebody who's had the chance to meet.
0:24.3	We've been friends for a while on social media, and I just wanted her to come on the podcast.
0:29.4	Let me tell you a little bit about Candice.
0:31.7	She lives in Iowa City and any of you that are following cold United States weather. We're recording this where it's a minus 10 wind chill at her home on a January afternoon.
0:43.3	And maybe by the time you're listening to, it'll be much warmer.
0:46.4	But Candace knows cold.
0:49.0	She works at the University of Iowa in Iowa City.
0:53.0	She has five kids, and she has some queer kids in there.
0:56.9	She's going to talk about her journey supporting her queer kids, especially pronouns, they,
1:01.8	them, and how that's been a journey for her and then how she's tried to navigate other family
1:08.4	members with their journey with using the correct pronouns and
1:13.3	they, them. So this would be helpful for those of you walking this road. She also started
1:19.8	her own podcast, a successful podcast called No Empty Chairs. Her moms who kids don't come to church.
1:26.8	She's up to over 40 episodes.
1:28.9	We'll link to that podcast in the show notes, but I love that she started this podcast.
1:34.5	For those of you, parents, moms, dads are welcome to listen in that have children that don't attend church anymore.
1:43.2	She's also the moderator in a Facebook group
1:45.7	will link to in the show notes called Bridges,
	...

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