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Hi y'all, Hillbilly God here.

I've been tagged in a lot of Facebook posts over the last month

when people all around America talked about what they were thankful for.

And I've been asked recently, God, what have you been thankful for?

Well I had planned on answering this on Thanksgiving

but I was so busy blessing the food of everyone well off enough to have food.

That on Thanksgiving day I was just so plum-tuckered out I wasn't available for Black Friday.

Of course I really haven't been available to the Blacks throughout history so why start now?

Anywho, I thought I'd let all my fans know what I was thankful for.

First, I'm thankful for the inclusiveness of the Christian faith.

We're happy to take anyone who wants to worship me.

We'll take thieves and con artists and child panographers and pedophiles.

Everyone deserves a second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth chance.

We'll take everyone except for the gays. They're kind of icky.

Speaking of gays, I'm thankful for homosexuals for existing.

You give me a reason to blow off a little steam.

Every time you organize, I have an opportunity to do something awful to the earth.

I love it when I get to create a hurricane, an earthquake, a tsunami, tornado, brush fire, drought, meteor shower, global warming,

blizzard, rain of frogs, phlegal locusts, volcano, avalanche.

...