Episode 743: Dale Schafer, Convert, RM, Same-Sex Marriage, Deep Testimony of the Church/God

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Religion & Spirituality

4.8 • 839 Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2024

⏱️ 88 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

My friend Dale Schafer (California Convert, Adelaide Australia ’79-81 RM, Twice Excommunicated, Lives with his husband in Hudson Valley, NY) joins us to share his story his life as a gay Latter-day Saint. Dale starts with his childhood of feeling like an outcast/not belonging because of his sexual attraction to men. Dale talks about his conversation story followed by his desire to serve a mission (good experience). Dale talks about trying to be honest/live with integrity as he did his best to move forward (came out to mom, mission president, BYU counseling center, broke off an engagement, and his bishop). Dale talks about being excommunicated but then rebaptized while at Utah State and then moving to Boston where he stepped away from the Church—but always felt it was his spiritual home. Dale talks about these years including becoming HIV+ and how his testimony kept him alive. Dale talks about finding his husband (been together for over twenty years) and also attending his local LDS branch (positive experiences with branch president and missionaries). Dale talks about being excommunicated for the second time when the November 2015 policy and how he wishes that had turned out differently. Dale talks about his deep testimony of the Church, God’s love, his wish to take to sacrament—all with a personal feeling this will all work out and “follow me, and all will be well.”. I wish I could include more of Dale’s story shared on the podcast in this brief description. I was so moved listening to Dale’s story and grateful for his courage to share it with our listeners. You are a good man, Dale. All my love and support. Your story will help so many! Links: Dale’s e-mail: [email protected] Dale’s Instagram: @daleschafer

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome listeners to another episode of Listen, Learn, and Love, hosted by Richard Osler.
0:08.7	Before I introduced our guest, I'm just honored to bring these stories to you, our listeners.
0:17.2	I go from one side of the room where we do podcasts.
0:19.8	One side of the room is a round table where I do podcast, and the other side of the room is just where I came from, which is my computer doing normal work stuff. And I feel like I just, when I walk to this side of the room, I just say a prayer and recognize this is a whole different thing. This is such a sacred space for brave guests to step forward and share
0:39.0	their stories. And this is one of those type of podcasts that I'm already just kind of moved
0:44.2	talking to my friend Dale and sharing a prayer before we went live. But I'll introduce Dale and then get him talking. Dale Schaefer, S-C-H-A-F-E-R, is a gay Latter-day Saint. He's
0:59.3	been excommunicated, but I'm still going to call him a Latter-day Saint because that's the faith
1:03.7	tradition he's connected with. He joined the church. He learned about the church going up in San
1:10.0	Diego, joined the church in Northern California.
1:12.9	And then bravely in 1979, went straight on a mission to Adelaide, Australia, and served there.
1:21.6	And then we'll talk about his journey coming home from his mission and trying to make it work with a woman, but recognizing he's
1:28.3	gay. He'll talk about recognizing he's gay before his mission. This is not something he learned
1:34.6	later. And just trying to make that work and eventually being excommunicated, being rebaptized,
1:43.2	and then eventually finding a husband, but always being drawn to the church
1:48.6	and starting to re-engage with the church.
1:51.7	Dale's in his 60s as he lived in Hudson Valley, New York, where Dell lives right now.
1:59.4	So we'll talk about just kind of this journey of not being in the church for a long
2:03.7	time, feeling a spiritual connection to the church, starting to attend church.
2:09.2	He was rebaptized after his first excommunication.
2:13.1	He was excommunicated again, but still connected with his local LDS branch or ward. I can't remember
2:19.6	what it is and also being in a same-sex marriage and just navigating the complexities of that.
2:25.5	And this is a really brave story and also a lot of pain. And I just recognize Dells done the very
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