Episode 718: Katherine and Jeff Wise, LDS Parents of a Gay Son, Founders of The Hearth

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Religion & Spirituality

4.8 • 839 Ratings

🗓️ 19 November 2023

⏱️ 82 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

My friends Katherine and Jeff Wise (parents of six sons and one daughter, living in the Bay Area ) invite us into the sacred space of their tender story of their youngest son Talmage coming out as gay at age 17 in 2013. Katherine and Jeff (who was serving as a Bishop at the time) talk about their fears, reactions, things they wish they did better, how to find resources, and the personal revelation they received to love and support Talmage. It is a beautiful family love story. They update us on Talmage’s life (he has a wonderful boyfriend and is living his best self in New York) and their continued love for Talmage and his partner Matt. They talk about how they don’t have fears of “empty chairs” in the next life. Katherine and Jeff talk about doing a one-time fireside in their home in March, 2015, focused on supporting LGBTQ members and how that led to The Hearth—a monthly gathering in the Wise home that continues today. They talk about the importance of creating a community of support and love where we can share in each other’s journeys. Katherine and Jeff talk about why they stay active members of the Church—even with the pain of the “dark corner” of this space within our Church. It’s a moving part of their story seeing the aggregate good of the Church while living with the reality of the pain of many LGBTQ members and their families. This is one of the best podcasts we’ve done with parents of an LGBTQ child. Katherine and Jeff have been on this road for 10 years and have mature insights, principles, and perspective to share with others. They also have the long-view of improvements being made over the past ten years—while acknowledging we still have much work to do. This is also an excellent podcast for anyone considering putting together a support group in their area of influence. Thank you, Katherine and Jeff, for opening your hearts and sharing your beautiful family story! Links: The Hearth: www.ldshearth.org/ Elder Daines Conference Talk: www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/10/13daines Richard Ostler books/bio/etc: www.papaostler.com Facebook Group to support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome listeners to another episode of Listen, Learn, and Love.
0:07.8	I'm hosted by Richard Osler.
0:10.4	On our podcast today, in our home here in Salt Lake City are my friends Jeff and Catherine Wise.
0:16.3	Welcome to the podcast.
0:17.8	Thank you, Richard.
0:18.8	Good to be here.
0:20.5	Jeff and Catherine Wise are parents of a gay son, and they have been on this road since 2013
0:28.3	when their 17-year-old son Talmadge came out to them. And then they started the hearth,
0:35.1	a support group for parents with LGBTQ kids in California.
0:40.5	We'll link to that organization in the show notes.
0:44.0	And I've been able to be at the heart and that's sacred ground to talk about the subject
0:48.6	and be in the spirit of the wise home.
0:52.2	My hope for this podcast is that if you're a parent of an LGBTQ kid,
0:58.0	that hearing from Jeff and Catherine Wise will help you and give you principles. They've been on
1:02.1	this road, you know, to have a couple that's coming on the podcast 10 years after their 17-year-old
1:07.6	son came out is a little unique because they've just been on this
1:11.2	road so long.
1:13.1	And I think their story will help you.
1:14.7	They've also started the hearth in 2015, and that's roughly a monthly fire site in their
1:22.6	home.
1:24.0	And it might be helpful for you if you're an ally or a parent and say, I want to do something in my Ward State community to support LGBTQ families.
1:35.5	There may be some principles that they share will be helpful for you as you decide or consider or peripherally think about what you might do in your area.
	...

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