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Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

Episode 694: When One Partner Grows and the Other Doesn’t

Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

Andrea Owen

Education, How To, Self-improvement

4.8516 Ratings

🗓️ 17 September 2025

⏱️ 38 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I’m back with a deep dive into a topic that many listeners have either asked me directly or perhaps quietly wondered about but may not say out loud: what happens when one partner is invested in personal growth and the other isn’t? Drawing from my own journey, years of interviews with experts, and Gottman Institute research, I explore in this solo episode how this dynamic plays out in relationships and what it can mean for intimacy, compatibility, and long-term partnership. Relationships don’t always end because of one big betrayal or crisis. Sometimes, they slowly drift apart as one person evolves and the other prefers comfort and predictability. I’m unpacking the tension between growth-oriented partners and stability-oriented partners—and ask the hard question: can these two ways of being coexist, or does the gap eventually become too wide? What you’ll hear in this episode: How growth-oriented and stability-oriented partners value relationships differently  The ways personal transformation can unintentionally feel like criticism  Why recurring arguments often reveal deeper, unspoken dreams  What happens when one partner turns toward—or away from—bids for connection  How couples can accept influence from each other without fully sharing the same goals  A framework for building a shared meaning system that balances stability and growth  The moment of clarity that comes from realizing you’re asking for more than the relationship can provide  Why leaving isn’t always failure, but sometimes an act of integrity At its core, this conversation is about honoring both your partner’s truth and your own. My invitation to you is to invite you to reflect on what you most deeply want in a relationship and to trust your intuition when the paths no longer align. Resources from this episode: Email me (support@andreaowen.com) or send me a DM on Instagram if you’re interested in deeper work in a new group program I’ll be offering soon! 691 When Growth Rocks the Boat668: Lesson 8: Leaving people behind to find yourselfSeven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: https://andreaowen.com/podcast/694 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:29.8

So compatibility in a relationship isn't about having identical dreams. That would be nice,

0:35.4

but sometimes it's not that way. But it comes down to

0:39.0

whether each partner can honor and make room for the other persons. And I think that that

0:45.7

starts with seeing the other person's dream and values in the relationship, whether you are a

0:52.9

growth-oriented person or a stability-oriented

0:55.1

person. I think it starts with seeing that in your partner, especially if you are opposite.

1:01.3

So it starts there and then learning how to honor and make room for the other person.

1:09.6

You're listening to Makes a Noise podcast, episode number 694.

1:20.9

Welcome to Make Some Noise Podcast, your guide for strategies, tools, and insight to

1:26.4

empower yourself. I'm your host, Andrea, and insight to empower yourself.

1:28.7

I'm your host, Andrea Owen, global speaker, entrepreneur, life coach since 2007,

1:34.0

an author of three books that have been translated into 18 languages and are available in 22 countries.

1:40.9

Each week, I'll bring you a guest or a lesson that will help you maximize unshakable

1:45.5

confidence, master resilience, and make some noise in your life. You ready? Let's go.

1:55.3

Hi, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the podcast. I am so glad that you're here. I know I've been mentioning this

2:01.6

for several weeks now on the podcast, and I'm getting closer to maybe having a better name for it,

...

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