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Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Episode 646: Ben Ferney, Gay Latter-Day Saint, Former Weber State Student Body President

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Religion & Spirituality

4.8839 Ratings

🗓️ 22 May 2023

⏱️ 94 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

My friend Ben Ferney (Australia Sydney RM, Former Weber State LDS Institute President, and Weber State Student Body President) joins us to share his story. Ben talks about the hope and happiness that is ahead for LGBTQ people. He talks about trying to date women and dodging questions about his apparent lack of interest in dating. After a brake up, Ben concluded she was the last girl he would date. That led Ben to come out to his family and friends (very positive support). Ben then talks about his decision to date men and doing that with God and his family’s involvement with intention and with boundaries. Ben talks about finding Calvin Smith (Episode 432, https://soundcloud.com/user-818501778/episode-432-calvin-smith-rm-byu-grad-gay-active-lds-plans-to-marry-a-man) last year and falling in love and their decision to be married in July of 2023. Ben and Calvin (who shared some thoughts on the podcast) talk about their active LDS family support (including being present for the engagement) and their desire to stay church-attending Latter-day Saints. Ben talks about his relationship with God, Jesus, his love of the Church, and desire to continue to help and lift others. Ben talks about his desire to build a life together with Calvin, have a family, and participate in the Church as much as they are allowed. I was moved by the maturity of Ben and Calvin. I encourage everyone (allies, parents, local leaders, queer Latter-day Saints) to listen to their story. It’s a story about courage, being intentional, going slow, showing grace to others on different paths, and keeping God in their lives. Thank you, Ben, for being on the podcast. Congrats on your upcoming wedding. Your story will help so many. Podcast Links: Ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Richard Ostler Book: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome listeners to another episode of Listen, Learn, and Love, hosted by Richard Osler.

0:09.2

In my home, to share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint, we've done so many of these via Zoom

0:13.6

that I've actually got a guest in my home.

0:15.4

It's kind of novel.

0:17.1

Is my friend Ben Fernie.

0:18.7

Welcome to the podcast, Ben.

0:20.0

Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

0:23.0

Ben's got a terrific outline is going to share his story. Just by way of introduction, Ben,

0:27.6

I became connected with Ben because our son Matt Osler served a mission in the Sydney North

0:34.1

mission. And in that process of connecting on Facebook, I connected with Ben

0:39.4

Fernie. And then in the last few months, Ben came out as gay. He's engaged to Calvin Smith,

0:45.3

who's here with him. And he's just going to share his story. Ben's a terrific man,

0:51.8

a wonderful missionary from the Sydney, Australia North mission. That's

0:56.6

kind of a legendary mission. We've had, you're the third guest that's gay from that mission.

1:02.6

Matt Easton was episode 134. Bryce Larson, who's older than you, was episode 337, and you'll be

1:09.8

episode 646. I think you all drink out of the same

1:14.0

water in some apartment once. I'm just kidding. But statistically that's probably pretty

1:20.8

normal to have multiple gay missionaries from a mission. Your fiancé is here with you and maybe

1:26.9

he'll take the mic and say hello at some point.

1:29.6

Calvin Smith.

1:30.4

Calvin Smith was on episode 432 that was recorded last July.

1:37.2

And in fact, I was thinking about Calvin's episode because in his episode, he says,

...

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