We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick.

We are receiving this message.

We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental

reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you. This is our time capsule. This is the

omnibus. So, You have accessed entry 990 dot LK0240

certificate number 50285.

Prodigies, comma, failed.

That's 72 unforced errors for Ritchie Tenantbaum.

He's playing the worst tennis of his life.

What's he feeling right now, Tex Hayward? I don't know, Jim, there's obviously something wrong with him.

He's taken off his shoes and one of his socks and... Actually, I think he's crying.

Boy.

Is this head a little too close to home for you?

Happy week between.

Happy Christmas, post-Christmas pre-New Year.

We are putting this into the vault just a few days after Christmas 2023.

And what time of year is Quanza this year?

Isn't Quanza, I think Quanza is always the seven days after Christmas, is that right?

...