You are listening to Feeding the Mouth That Bight You with Ashley Parrish and Jessica Pfeiffer.

A weekly podcast guide on parenting teens and launching them into the world. As always,

we are joined by psychologist and author, Dr. Ken Wilgus.

Hey, everyone and welcome back. On today's episode, we will be discussing part two of the

addicted teenager in their family.

So let's talk about other children and siblings of the addicted teen.

Let's move on to the dynamics that go on there in our families.

If you have another child in particular who is compliant and doing well, it's really easy to

neglect them or time with them. And they end up

not getting enough attention because you're devoted to fixing your addicted team. That is true.

And it's hard on that one kid who's just kind of flying under the radar. Yes. And it's often,

I talk with parents who are struggling so much, and they know that.

They know that this other kid is needing more, but it only adds to the, very often to the parent's shame of I'm failing.

So if you've already started with the misassumption or the misunderstanding that my teenagers' continual drug or alcohol use

is really a reflection of me as a parent, and that's error number one.

Then error number two means that means it's my job to fix this, and I'm not going to be

done as a parent until I have, quote, gotten them away from this

addiction, which then means you're going to very likely be in the drivers or in this parenting

seat for the next 30 years.

Then when you do see that and my sweet middle child is just watching this and she gets so tearful and whatever

they don't do they you can't do anything different you just feel terrible about it and it's so

it's a it's a kind of a chain of helplessness the it has to come back to uh your even your sweet middle

...