Episode 520: Alright Merry - "Batman Returns" (1992)
Alright Mary: All Things RuPaul's Drag Race
Colin Drucker & Johnny Also
4.6 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 24 December 2025
⏱️ 89 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I don’t know about you Miss Kitty, but Batman Returns is feeling so much gayer. This unofficial Christmas movie about the Penguin’s rise, Catwoman’s coming out and Bruce Wayne’s need to come out all takes place around the holidays in Gotham, with a sabotaged tree lighting, a Christmas party under attack and cold soup by the fire one night in that fussy bachelor pad. Michelle Pfeiffer is the reason for the season as Selina Kyle in and out of the bodysuit, Danny DeVito goes to a 27 and back, Jan Hooks shows up just before that nose bite happens, plus we get PeeWee and Simone, best featured Ice Princess, Danny Elfman’s score, the Hello There neon sign and a chest voice close to our hearts.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Miao |
| 0:02.0 | All right, Mary |
| 0:17.0 | There's a big comfy California game over in Betty. |
| 0:21.6 | What do you say? |
| 0:23.6 | Let me take up our costumes. |
| 0:26.6 | I guess I'm tired of wearing masks. |
| 0:32.6 | Me too. |
| 0:34.6 | Let me ask you some. Why'd you come tonight? |
| 0:41.3 | You first. |
| 0:42.3 | See you. |
| 0:43.3 | That's lovely. |
| 0:47.3 | And I really wish I could say the same, but I came for Max. |
| 0:53.3 | What do you mean? You and... I came for Max. |
| 0:58.0 | What I mean, you and not you and Max? No, me and Max. |
| 1:00.0 | Me and Max. No. |
| 1:07.0 | No. This and Max. |
| 1:10.0 | Now, don't give me a killing Max, won't solve anything's speech, because it will. |
| 1:17.6 | Aren't you tired of this sanctimonious, woman, |
| 1:20.6 | always coming out on top when he should be six feet under? |
| 1:23.6 | I'm sure you have a lot of problems with your boss, but I mean, how do that way you think you are? |
| 1:31.6 | I don't know anymore, Ruth. |
| 1:37.0 | Just a couple of gay people at a Christmas party. |
... |
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