Episode 519: Clark Barrow, Understanding and Overcoming Self-Harm

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Religion & Spirituality

4.8 • 839 Ratings

🗓️ 24 April 2022

⏱️ 76 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

My friend Clark Barrow (RM, Active LDS, Age 24, Married) bravely shares his journey with self-harm. Clark (who was on episode 398 with his siblings supporting their gay father Alec) talks about returning home from his mission to Utica, New York after 9 months with a knee injury. Clark talks about the anxiety of being home and how that experience led to significant anxiety and stress about when/if to return to his mission. That led Clark to finding a coping mechanism to numb the pain in self-harm. Clark talks about the shame and stigma around self-harm. Clark returned to Utica, New York and served for another 9 months before the stress/anxiety of the mission led Clark to turn to his copying mechanism of self-harm. Clark, showing great courage, opened up to his companion and Mission President which resulting in Clark returning home. Clark talks about being an early release missionary (twice) and what we can do to better support these good missionaries. Clark also talks about what led him to finally open up and get help with self-harm and begin his recovery. Clark is sharing his story to reduce the shame and stigma around self-harm to help others. Clark’s wife Tegan shares her thoughts about self-harm and how they love and support each other—and the importance of being open and honest during the dating process (which helps create a foundation of trust and vulnerability that is one of the keys to a successful marriage). Thank you, Clark and Tegan, for being on the podcast. Your story will help so many. Thank you for your courage and voice of hope! ** Please check out my new book that has a chapter about mental health and early-release missionaries: deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love or amazon.com/dp/1462139566**

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome listeners to another episode of Listen, Learn, and Love, hosted by Richard Osler.
0:09.4	As part of my second book called Listen and Learned and Love Improving Latter-day Saint Culture,
0:14.6	we talk about just things to improve our culture.
0:19.4	And one of the chapters in there, chapter six, is creating better understanding of mental
0:25.3	illness and suicide.
0:27.6	And one of its purposes, reduce the shame and stigma around those two topics.
0:33.3	And my guest on today's podcast is willing to talk about his journey, particularly with self-arm
0:39.3	and cutting himself as part of serving a mission.
0:43.4	And it's really brave of him to talk about.
0:45.6	He's the first person in 500 plus episodes that step forward and want to talk about this subject.
0:51.3	And I don't know a lot about it, but there's been a few people in my circle that have cut themselves. I don't even know the right language. Clark will probably help us
0:58.9	and I had no tools to help them or to really understand the totality of what was going on.
1:04.5	So let me introduce you to Clark. Clark Barrow is 24 years old. He's a student at UVU. He's recently married. He's been married for 11
1:13.5	months to his wife, Tegan. He's working towards a degree in social work and would like to be a
1:20.6	therapist in this general field after getting his master's to help others. Clark has been on the
1:27.3	episode before.
1:28.4	He was on episode 398 where Alec Barrow's kids came and talked about their love for their gay dad.
1:36.9	So you listen to Clark on 398.
1:39.4	It's a beautiful family love story.
1:42.3	Clark's dad did a solo podcast with Clark's dad and his mom on
1:45.9	397 sharing his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. But I was just touched by both those episodes
1:51.9	and just the family love that's present in this family and supported their dad.
	...

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