Oh, Oh, Good evening and welcome to blurry photos your number one source for fake news.

I'm rock hard.

And I'm up to no good.

Top stories tonight.

Local village has been terrorized by apparent vampire attacks causing sales of coconut oil to spike.

One resident is quoted as saying,

If the perpetrator thinks we're going to just take this abuse, he can kiss our ass wang.

Researchers were found guilty in the EVP case today after evidence was found to be sound.

New details emerging in last week's shadow person break-in leading investigators to believe that

the situation is not so black and white as once thought.

Shocking news from Tesla Labs today, but first the latest from Egypt.

Archaeologists are in denial as new laws are forcing them to work in the open sun.

When questioned, a spokesman said,

Tut tut tut, it's achinaten to worry about.

We expect to hear more to Marna.

And part three of our investigative series Knowing the Unknown.

For 29 years now we've known the rules.

Never feed them after midnight and never get them wet.

But what do we really know about gremlins?

Shocking new research shows that we might not understand as much as we thought we did

about the care and feeding of gremlins.

Rock?

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