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Sofa King Podcast

Episode 494: Kiddie Pageants: Big Hair and Big Money

Sofa King Podcast

Sofa King Podcast

Comedy, History, Society & Culture

4.81.4K Ratings

🗓️ 30 June 2020

⏱️ 88 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this episode of the Sofa King Podcast, we polish our tiaras and talk about child beauty pageants. They of course made national news with the tragic death of Jonbenet Ramsey in 1996. But after that, they stayed in the forefront of popular culture. HBO’s influential documentary called Living Dolls lead to the TV show Toddlers in Tiaras and the flaming turd filled train wreck that was Honey Boo Boo. Each year, over 250,000 children participate in America alone. From underage prostitutes to 8 year olds getting motel Botox, this one has it all. You would think that beauty pageants for children came from the sick minds of the current generation, but there is in fact a long history. P.T. Barnum organized a kid’s beauty pageant in 1855 called the National Baby Show, and it gained 143 contestants and an audience of over 60,000. This spread to other similar ideas, mostly judging naked babies like cattle. By the 1920s, however, the modern adult beauty pageants was born in New Jersey (of course it was…). From there, the idea of a Little Miss America was spawned, and it hasn’t stopped since. While Jonbenet’s death may have put these horror shows on the map, they had been there all along. There are different types of pageants; some are Natural, where rules are in place about amounts of makeup and outlandish outfits. Others are a Glitz, which are the ones you’re thinking about. Fake teeth, caked makeup, hair like a televangelist prostitute, horrible dances, all the worst of the worst. To get through a big pageant, it’s gonna cost a parent at least $5000, but some may spend as much as $70,000 by the time designer dresses, makeup, travel, and all the rest is calculate. But there are large purses to be won, so it keeps on keeping on. Some say the pageants are a good thing. They breed self confidence and sportsmanship. Others argue they sexualize children and create problems ranging from body dismorphia to eating disorders and big time trust issues when every friend is a competitor likely to throw you under the bus. So, how many pageants are there a year? What types of events do they perform in order to win? How are more recent online pageants judged? What happened to the mom who was self injecting Botox in her own 8 year old daughter in the lobby of a hotel? Listen, laugh, learn. Visit Our Sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_beauty_pageant https://www.thelist.com/136545/the-untold-truth-of-childhood-beauty-pageants/ https://www.bustle.com/articles/183975-whats-the-history-of-child-pageants https://www.thecut.com/2012/11/child-pageant-star.html https://www.moms.com/pageant-child-reasons-should-against/ https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=8128371

Transcript

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0:00.0

We advise you to get off the streets as quickly as possible.

0:03.4

It'll soon be a war up there.

0:05.0

And we are as the people opposed to secret societies, the secret oaths.

0:10.0

I know for a fact, and a secret proceedings.

0:12.3

Weapons of mass destruction destruction I take the threat very seriously

0:17.3

a new world order government thanks you for your participation

0:27.0

you are now listening to the world famous Sofa King podcast. Please read from sheets.

0:31.0

I am so far king

0:35.0

now repeat all very fast please

0:40.0

I am so far

0:42.0

faster I am sof

0:46.7

no no not so fast you use this meaning I am so for king with me tard e

0:50.0

you say funny things.

1:01.0

Did you get that all handled over there? Barely.

1:03.0

Got it right now.

1:05.0

Barely right now.

1:06.0

One way to start.

1:07.0

You know what I like is he starts shuffling his papers.

1:11.0

He gets so nervous about it. He starts shuffling his papers, even though it has nothing to do with what's happening.

1:16.5

I was trying to see where everything was that. I had to do all kinds of shit. I started to fill in whiskey glass.

1:20.3

God damn this mic. I got to turn that air off probably.

1:22.6

Oh we do, I look at you.

...

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