Episode 48: NOW...he wants to go to therapy.
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 574 Ratings
🗓️ 26 November 2019
⏱️ 21 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Today I am talking about what to do when your husband or spouse tells you, "NOW, I want go to therapy…." And boy, this is a big one. In fact, it is very common too. And I have thoughts, I have so many thoughts.
Here's the scenario:
You've been unhappy for a while. Maybe a long-ass while.
You've told your husband you're unhappy.
You've asked him to go to therapy with you. Often multiple times. Maybe you've begged him to go with you but he's still said, "No".
He may even have said, "I'd rather get divorced than go to therapy."
So you continue to suffer, to make the most of it, to care for yourself and your children, to put on a happy face to the world, all the while suffering inside.
Until one day you just can't do it anymore. Until one day the switch flips and you JUST.FUCKING.CAN'T.
That's the day tell him you're done. And you mean it this time.
And he knows it. He feels it.
And he panics. And he tells you he'll do anything. He tells you, "Now, I want to go to therapy.
Maybe he means it, but more often it's a last ditch attempt to get you to stay. If you have one shred of a fuck left to give, even just one corner, go to therapy. Watch him carefully. See what he's willing to DO. Remember ACTIONS 👏🏻 ACTIONS 👏🏻 ACTIONS 👏🏻.
You cannot fix what's broken in your marriage on your own. You need help. So today, I am offering some help on this podcast in the way of advice so you know what to do if or when your spouse utters those famous words, "Now, I want to go to therapy.".
Here are just a few of the topics I touch on in this episode:
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What to do when your spouse says they want to go to couples therapy, after you've told them you want a divorce
-
The credentials and attributes to look for in a good couples' therapist
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Why you feel guilty when you know you're done and your spouse is pulling every play out of the 'please don't go' book
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Listening to and understanding your personal truth
Resources & Links:
→ This episode was sponsored by FAYR, the easiest, most intuitive and conflict-diffusing co-parenting app on the market today! Sign up at: www.befayr.com
Use code KAnthony for 20% off! Then download the app from the Apple's App Store or Google Play.
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The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go. |
| 0:17.7 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some of the |
| 0:23.5 | roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. I've been to |
| 0:29.1 | hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process |
| 0:35.1 | with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 0:45.0 | Hello, welcome back to another episode of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast. I'm so glad |
| 0:53.2 | you're here. Today I have another solo episode for you. |
| 0:56.9 | And today, we're going to talk about what to do when your husband or your spouse tells you |
| 1:04.2 | that now they want to go to therapy. It's a big one. It's a dozy. And I have thoughts. So this is something that I hear |
| 1:15.4 | again and again. I hear it in my Facebook group, in private messages, on Instagram, on Facebook, |
| 1:22.2 | in my email, you name it. Women are asking this question. So what better topic to do a podcast episode on than this? |
| 1:33.4 | All right. So here's the scenario. You've been unhappy for a long time. Maybe like a really long time. |
| 1:41.1 | And you've told your husband that you're unhappy. You've asked him to go to therapy with you, |
| 1:46.4 | often multiple times. Maybe you've begged him to go with you, but he's still said no. He may even |
| 1:54.0 | have said, I'd rather get divorced than go to therapy, which I've also heard multiple times, |
| 1:59.5 | and it blows my fucking mind. Because really, |
| 2:01.9 | really? You're so afraid of working on your marriage that you'd rather get divorced? |
| 2:08.7 | Okay. I mean, more fucking power to you. Go ahead. So maybe you have continued to suffer, |
| 2:15.8 | right? You have continued to make the most of it, to care for yourself and your children, |
| 2:22.6 | to put on a happy face to the world all the while suffering inside, from emotional abuse, |
| 2:29.4 | from emotional neglect, or just from being really fucking unhappy and starving for the love and connection |
| 2:35.7 | that you're so desperate to feel until one day you just can't do it anymore. Until one day, |
... |
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