Episode 408 - Honoring Grief and Loss During the Christmas Season with Lanier Ivester

The Nothing Is Wasted Podcast

Davey Blackburn and Aubrey Sampson

Religion & Spirituality, Christianity

4.9 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 18 December 2025

⏱️ 70 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

How do we make space for our grief in the midst of what is often called a joyful season? What happens when the traditions we once cherished become painful reminders of those no longer at our table?Author Lanier Ivester understands the deep ache of loss and how it reshapes the holidays. After walking through multiple griefs—many within a single year—Lanier found herself reimagining the Christmas season traditions she once loved. Through that process, she discovered how to honor her grief while allowing traditions to evolve in ways that nurture connection and relationship.In her book, Glad and Golden Hours: A Companion for Advent and Christmastide, Lanier shares cherished practices—many of which were passed down from her mother and explores the rich theology of the Christmas season—a theology that embraces both joy and sorrow in sacred tension.In this episode, Davey sits down with Lanier to discuss how grief transforms our experience of the holidays, the invitation Advent offers to bring both our celebration and lament before God, and how to thoughtfully engage—or release—traditions after loss.If you or someone you love is hurting this Christmas, this conversation offers a gentle reminder: this season is spacious enough to hold your pain and still whisper the hope of Christ—Emmanuel, God with us. Website: https://lanierivester.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lanierivester/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LaniersBooks/ Book: Glad and Golden Hours: A Companion for Advent and Christmastide https://amzn.to/46TBND515% Code off any Glad and Golden Hours products at rabbitroom.com Code: KITCHEN15Every story shared through Nothing is Wasted becomes part of a living legacy and you can be a part. Join the legacy and give today: www.nothingiswasted.com/legacyofhope Stories matter. They inspire, uplift, and remind us we’re not alone in our pain. Hope in the Valley: 42 Days of Healing Through the Psalms After Loss, Grief, and Tragedy is a new devotional featuring real stories from the Nothing Is Wasted community—offering strength, comfort, and hope in life’s hardest moments. Order your copy today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/hopeinthevalley Wondering where to get started on your journey towards healing? Join Davey on our next FREE, live Zoom call and find out how you can begin to take back your story and how Nothing is Wasted can help. Sign up today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/starthere Looking for help in navigating the valley of pain and trauma? Our Nothing is Wasted coaches can help: www.nothingiswasted.com/coaching Want a pathway through your pain? The Pain to Purpose Course can lead you through all you've been through: www.nothingiswasted.com/paintoppurpose Please donate today at MercyShips.org/podcast Visit www.OmahaSteaks.com for 50% off sitewide during their Sizzle All the Way Sale. And for an extra $35 off, usepromo code FUN at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Nothing is Wasted podcast, where we meet you in your pain and help you discover a pathway through.
0:09.6	No matter what you've faced or what you're walking through now, we believe your story isn't over.
0:15.0	Each week, you'll hear powerful conversations with people who've partnered with God to reclaim their stories of trauma, loss, and heartbreak, and we'll chat with Christian experts who offer wisdom and
0:26.2	practical tools for healing. This is a place of hope, redemption, and the reminder that
0:31.5	even in your darkest moments, God is still writing your story, because with him, nothing is wasted.
0:38.8	I'm your host, Davey Blackburn.
0:45.8	Hello, hello, welcome to the Nothing is Wasted Podcast.
0:48.5	I'm so grateful that you're joining us yet again for another great episode.
0:54.0	And Merry Christmas, one week from the release of this podcast
0:58.1	is Christmas Day. And we're grateful that maybe you're on your drive right now to your
1:04.9	Christmas festivities. Maybe you're kind of settling in. Maybe there some fresh fallen snow maybe there's a fire in the
1:15.1	fireplace and you've got some hot cocoa or some coffee some eggnog i almost feel like you remember
1:21.7	delilah back in the day i just had a moment where i feel like i'm being Delilah as I'm inviting you to settle in.
1:31.9	Got a snap out of that one.
1:34.2	Listen, we're so grateful that you're here joining us.
1:36.7	You know, every year around this time, I'm reminded that a couple of things, especially with the nature of this community.
1:44.0	I'm reminded that the calendar doesn't care
1:46.9	what kind of season your soul is in.
1:49.8	You see, for most of us, the lights are going up,
1:52.3	the music is turning on, the commercials are telling us
1:54.3	it's the most wonderful time of the year.
1:56.6	And yet, for so many of us, Christmas is where our grief feels the loudest. If you've read, nothing is waste of the book, you know, there's a scene where, you know, it was only a month or so, a little bit more than a month after Amanda passed away that we were celebrating Christmas. And I'm just, I was just lost. We didn't feel like decorating. We didn't feel like doing any kind of celebration. So I get it. I get it. Maybe this is your first Christmas without someone you love. Maybe it's been years, but you still feel that gnawing ache when you unpack the decorations or when you set the table, you see the empty chair. Maybe you look around at all the celebration and think how how am i supposed to sing about joy when
	...

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