Episode 392 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Using Regret to Change Your Life
The Boundaries.me Podcast
Greg Bowler
4.7 • 815 Ratings
🗓️ 3 February 2024
⏱️ 72 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Regrets are inevitable in this life and can bring us great sadness. Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to think differently about how you look at your regrets. When we talk about regret we’re talking about loss and the emotional pain that comes with that. What can really be helpful is letting regret show us what we don’t want to lose. The trouble is that guilt will accompany the regret and that can prevent you from mourning what you’ve lost. Dr. Cloud asks you to transform your normal reactions of guilt and badness to one of godly sorrow. When you think about what you’ll lose by not changing, real change can come forward.
Written question: I find myself stuck between this sense that I'm constantly striving for MORE and BETTER versus the idea that it might be healthier to accept what I've got, what I've accomplished, and the way things are. Why do I always feel like I want and need more? Does it ever end?
Marshall is working irregular hours and wants to add meaningful structure to his time to maintain his relationships and his work-life balance. Linda has an adult son that has been violent with her in the past. How can she mend her relationship with her son, and what role does she have to play in her grandchildren’s lives? Karissa is a pastor’s wife and a mentor. She wants to know how to stop internalizing others’ failures. She feels like she has failed when they fall short and it’s affecting her.
Having trouble setting boundaries? Are you worried that boundaries go against your Christianity? Dr. Henry Cloud lays the foundation for how to build and maintain healthy boundaries that align with Christian principles. Check out the upcoming workshop and get discounted early bird pricing for a limited time. https://boundaries.me/myboundaries
If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey guys, welcome back. It's the Dr. Cloud show. This is a program, if you're new to it, |
| 0:14.2 | where we talk about life. Not all of life. I can't really help you with your auto mechanics. |
| 0:23.3 | I can't help you much with your cooking. But what I probably can help you with is something that fits into that pie of life |
| 0:31.6 | that I refer to your clinical issues, things like depression, anxiety, and fears, and PTSD, and |
| 0:37.0 | mourning and grief and stress and energy levels and PTSD, and mourning and grief, |
| 0:37.7 | and stress, and energy levels and all that. |
| 0:41.0 | And then your relationship world, whatever kind of relationship that might be at work or home |
| 0:45.5 | or family, extended family, parenting, dating with the delivery person, whoever. |
| 0:57.0 | And the third piece of the pie is your performance. |
| 0:58.1 | How do we reach goals? |
| 0:59.1 | This is January. |
| 1:04.1 | You know, people are kind of on a track to try to reach some goals. As you know, if you've ever heard me, I've got a love-hate relationship with the word resolution, |
| 1:13.8 | because everybody knows the research on resolutions. |
| 1:17.1 | You know, they mostly disappear pretty quickly. |
| 1:20.5 | But that doesn't make them bad. |
| 1:24.4 | It just means that people fail to do them. |
| 1:28.3 | There's also a science that explains the people who don't fail to do them. |
| 1:36.3 | So I love making oneself resolve to do something different. That's how we change our lives. But it only happens when |
| 1:48.5 | certain things are present. So anyway, this is January, right? So when we're thinking about |
| 1:54.3 | all of that stuff, a lot of you are trying to be on a new path. And in a moment, I'm going to get into |
| 2:02.2 | a few thoughts about a topic, as I always do. And that is, how do you use regret in a good way? |
| 2:12.5 | You know, regret we think of as a very negative word. Well, it is a negative feeling for sure. But like, is this true? |
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