Hello there, welcome to a brand new R-Splug R-Scast right here on R-Splug.com.

I hope you're well. I hope you're well. I'm a little bit cheesed off because this is the second time that I've done the intro to this show.

The first time, well, I mean, I have to say it's like a piece of art that has been lost to the world.

Because for some reason, and for the second time this has happened to me this week, not to me, but I happened to somebody else, but I was kind of in charge of it.

A whole recording just didn't work. It was there, I saw it, I saved it, and somehow I don't know what happened, but it's gone.

Forever. There's no reclaiming it. Nothing. Although I do have that time machine thing, don't I, on my computer? I do. I have the time machine. I can go back in time and get it, but that seems like...

That seems like an awful lot of hassle, and I've already started this again, so I'll just keep going. Anyway, I do hope you're well.

We're going to be talking about Arsenal on this podcast. As we do, it's a podcast about Arsenal, and we're going to have to discuss the midweek shenanigans,

the failings in front of goal, 21 shots, no goals. There's a joke in there somewhere, isn't there about drinking 21 shots and picking up penalty points or something.

But I just can't be asked. I don't have it in me, I don't have the gumption, I don't have the will, because it's been one of those weeks, Arsenal aside, where it's been testing. Very testing.

You won't know this, of course, unless you live in Ireland, or you have, for some bizarre reason, a keen interest in Irish politics, or they've called a general election here. And I find general elections kind of irritating. Mostly, I have to say, because of...

Well, politicians, is there just, you know, pain in the arse? Maybe there are some of you out there listening to this very podcast right now who have forged a career in politics, and maybe you're an okay person.

Deep, deep down beneath the veneer of like saying what people want you to say, you're okay, I guess. But here, politicians fuck them. They're assholes.

And the whole election is like a, it's a total Hobson's choice, because the government, well, they're shit and dickheads. And the opposition, they're also shit and dickheads.

So I'm kind of in a position where, you know, I don't want to vote for any of these people. We had one candidate called to the door the other day, and he said, I'm here on behalf of whatever political party it was. And I said, no, thank you. And he said, why not? And I said, I don't agree with your policies.

And he went, which ones? And I said, pretty much all of them. And he went, oh, and he left, which is fine. I don't mind being honest with him. But the bigger problem, of course, is the posters.

posters, posters everywhere. And what is on the posters, but pictures of politicians. Now, I have a theory about politicians. It may well be specific to Irish politicians. I haven't really given it much thought beyond these shores.

But you know the way, if there's an actor who is not, shall we say conventionally handsome, whose face might be somewhat distinctive in its less than handsomeness. And you very often hear these people refer to as character actors, right? And that basically they're just saying they're really kind of ugly. That's the way they say it. They've been diplomatic or whatever.

But those people have realized, hey, I'm no carry grant. I'm no George Clooney. I'm no that guy from that film. The drive film. The goose guy. What's his name? Fuck it, I can't remember his name, but he's a goose. Ryan Gosling, that guy. They realize they're not him. And they say, hey, that's all right. I am who I am. I accept my face for what it is. And I will entertain the world through my performances, through my art, through my creativity.

And I think they're fantastic. But politicians, these are the people who cannot accept the fact that they're basically hideous, right? And the way that they decide to deal with having a face that looks like it's been put together from spare parts is not to entertain, is not to create, is not to give something back to the world. It's to seize power.

This is how they compensate for looking like something. Do you remember that kids game where you had to like, you had to pick the eyes of one thing and a different nose and a different mouse and all kinds of it. You just put it together and look hideous. That's what they all look like.

And then what they do at election time is they put up pictures of themselves all over lampposts every street corner traffic lights. There's a picture of this ugly person or that ugly person and that ugly person.

...