Episode 347: When the Holidays Trigger Every Old Wound: How to Get Through Without Losing Yourself
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 573 Ratings
🗓️ 11 December 2025
⏱️ 26 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The holidays have a magical way of triggering every wound you've ever had. In this solo episode, I'm sharing how you can take care of yourself so you don't lose your mind, your center, or your sanity in the process. Whether this is your first holiday season post separation, you're holding it together until January to file, or you're already divorced and juggling co-parenting, conflict, grief, or the pressure to make everything look "fine," nothing you're feeling means you're a bad mom or a bad person. It means you're human, and you deserve far more gentleness than you've ever been taught to give yourself.
You'll hear me walk you through the predictable triggers and patterns that show up this time of year and why the holidays feel so damn hard. And together, we'll shift into a new way of moving through the season that protects your peace and honors your truth.
What you'll hear about in this episode:
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The predictable patterns and triggers that show up every holiday season
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What your holiday reactions are actually rooted in and why they feel so overwhelming
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A new way of approaching the season that protects your peace and honors your truth
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Seven practical ways to care for yourself so you stay connected instead of collapsing under the pressure
✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.
Resources & Links:
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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | All right. And number seven, release the shoulds and replace them with needs. Anytime you think I should do this, I should do that, I should, I should, I should be able to handle this. I should be able to stop. Ask yourself instead, what do I need right now? Need leads to connection. Shoulds lean to burnout. So give yourself permission to choose your needs. |
| 0:29.6 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about |
| 0:36.4 | co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the |
| 0:39.6 | hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go? |
| 0:44.1 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some |
| 0:49.2 | of the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. I've been to hell and back. |
| 0:56.5 | And now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process with your |
| 1:02.0 | sanity and your heart intact. |
| 1:15.9 | Hey everyone, welcome back. |
| 1:21.8 | Today, I think we're going to talk about something that many of you need right now. |
| 1:31.7 | And we are talking about why the holidays have a magical way of triggering every fucking wound you've ever had and how to take care of yourself so you don't lose your ever-loving mind. So you don't lose your |
| 1:38.1 | mind, your center, or your sanity in the process. So maybe you're heading into your first holiday season post separation. |
| 1:47.5 | Maybe you're still in there trying to hold it together for the kids or waiting for the holidays |
| 1:54.0 | to be over so that you can file. You're probably aware by now that January is considered |
| 2:00.3 | divorce month for just that reason. |
| 2:03.0 | Everyone's trying to get through the holidays before they shake everything up. |
| 2:07.9 | Maybe you're already divorced and you're juggling co-parenting schedules. |
| 2:11.5 | Your ex is chaos, your own grief, whatever it is, wherever you are in this process, if the holidays stir up sadness, resentment, |
| 2:23.2 | disappointment, dread, you're not alone. And it doesn't make you a bad mom, a bad partner, |
| 2:30.8 | or a bad person. It makes you human. It makes you someone who has lived through pain, |
| 2:36.7 | who is navigating change, and who deserves a little bit of gentleness this time of year. |
| 2:44.0 | So let's just talk a little honestly about it. Oh, right? The holidays are supposed to be the most |
... |
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