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The Addicted Mind Podcast

Episode 347: From Denial to Recovery: Melissa Fletcher Stoeltje's Journey Through High-Functioning Alcoholism and Healing

The Addicted Mind Podcast

Duane Osterlind, LMFT

Health & Fitness, Medicine, Mental Health

4.8621 Ratings

🗓️ 18 August 2025

⏱️ 39 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Melissa Fletcher Stoeltje’s story is one that resonates deeply with anyone who has experienced the hidden struggles of addiction. Imagine maintaining a successful career while secretly battling high-functioning alcoholism. Melissa opens up about her journey from denial to recovery, sharing the pivotal moments that led her to seek help. Her memoir, "Drunk Love: A Marriage Under the Influence," serves as a testament to the resilience required to overcome such a gripping hold on life. Her candid reflections offer a beacon of hope for those facing similar battles or supporting loved ones on their path to sobriety.

Navigating a marriage entangled in the web of alcoholism presents its own set of challenges. Melissa and her husband share their experience of confronting the underlying issues masked by alcohol. Through therapy and recovery programs, they learned to rebuild their relationship, finding healthier ways to communicate and support each other. This episode explores themes of personal well-being, the importance of choosing the right therapeutic support, and the powerful transformation that sobriety can bring to personal and familial dynamics. Rediscovering one's identity and passions, such as Melissa's love for writing, are highlighted as key elements in the journey to recovery.

In this episode, you will hear:

  • Melissa Fletcher Stoeltje's battle with high-functioning alcoholism and the role of denial.
  • The impact of alcoholism on Melissa's marriage and the journey to recovery and healing.
  • Rediscovering personal identity and passions through sobriety, with a focus on Melissa's love for writing.
  • The significance of choosing the right therapeutic support and the potential necessity of ending unhealthy relationships.
  • Embracing radical honesty in recovery and the surprising support from colleagues.
  • The transformative power of community and fellowship in overcoming addiction.

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Supporting Resources:

Drunk Love: A Marriage under the Influence

Sobertown Interview

NovusMindfulLife.com

https://www.theaddictedmind.com/community 

Episode Credits

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Addictive Mind podcast. I'm your host, Dwayne Austerland,

0:09.9

and today we have an incredibly powerful and personal story for you. Joining me is Melissa

0:15.8

Fletcher Stogey, a retired award-winning newspaper journalist with a story that will deeply resonate with

0:23.0

anyone who has faced addiction or watched a loved one's struggle. Melissa lived much of her life

0:29.1

as a high-function alcoholic, hiding her drinking behind professional success and a facade of control.

0:36.9

While the world saw her accomplishments, only her husband and

0:40.3

son truly witnessed the impact of her addiction. After years of battling relapse, Melissa found

0:46.2

sobriety in 2010 at the age of 52. Now she's sharing her remarkable story of recovery through her

0:53.9

memoir, Drunk Love, A Marriage

0:55.8

Under the Influence.

0:57.0

It's an honest and moving exploration of alcoholism's toll on her life, her relationships,

1:03.1

and how she rebuilt them with courage and grace.

1:06.6

Today, Melissa will talk about the role of denial plays in sustaining high-functioning alcoholism,

1:12.7

how she overcame it, and the hope and healing she's found on the other side.

1:17.4

This episode is a heartfelt exploration of redemption, resilience, and profound strength it

1:23.3

takes to reclaim your life.

1:25.5

I truly believe Melissa's story will inspire anyone who's walking their

1:29.9

own recovery path or standing beside someone who is. Now, if you're finding value in the Intent

1:36.0

Mind podcast, please take a moment to rate and review the show on your favorite podcast app.

1:42.4

It helps us connect with more listeners like you.

1:45.1

And don't forget to follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Blue Sky for updates and community

1:50.3

support.

...

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