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New Rory & MAL

Episode 345 | Por qué, My Valentine?

New Rory & MAL

iHeartPodcasts and The Volume

Music, Society & Culture, Comedy

4.87.2K Ratings

🗓️ 14 February 2025

⏱️ 101 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Happy Valentine’s Day! While the guys have nothing planned (1:00), Baby D is ready to live up to her “Damp February” (4:00), Mal picks a winner from 2 contestants in our Valentine’s Day Voicemail competition (33:20), Rory has flashbacks to Summer 2009 when survived Newark chlamydia while mourning Michael Jackson’s death in a Harlem Red Lobster. Plus, comedian Felipe Esparza joins the show to talk about how he slept his way to the bottom (1:12:11), avoided being kidnapped, and more! For MORE Rory & Mal, make sure you subscribe to our Patreon community, for exclusive episodes, first access to tickets and merch sales, private live chats with the team, + more! https://www.patreon.com/newrorynmal Follow Rory: @ThisIsRory Follow MAL: @MAL_ByTheWay Follow Demaris: https://linktr.ee/demarisg To watch the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/NewRoryAndMALYouTube Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/NewRoryAndMAL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

No, Warren, Ma!

0:04.0

My name is Cupid Valentino,

0:06.0

the modern day of Cupid,

0:09.0

and I just want to say one thing,

0:11.0

Happy Valentine's Day

0:15.0

Every day in the 14

0:18.0

I don't think you hurt, man, I just want to say happy Valentine's Day.

0:23.6

Every day of the 14th.

0:27.6

Can y'all dig that?

0:29.6

Now, when arrows don't penetrate, see,

0:34.6

Cupid cracks the pistol.

0:36.6

Ah, yeah, now, now look at here, he shoots straight. See Cupid cracks the pistol Ah

0:38.3

Yeah

0:39.3

Now look at here

0:40.3

He shoots

0:41.3

Straight for your heart

0:43.3

Now

0:44.3

And he won't miss you

0:46.3

But that's all right

0:48.3

Y'all won't believe in me anyway

0:50.3

But

0:51.3

You won't believe in me

...

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