Episode 34: The Cleanest Dirty Shirt
The Remnant with Jonah Goldberg
The Dispatch
4.7 • 6.6K Ratings
🗓️ 20 April 2018
⏱️ 56 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
- Understand what a scapegoat is. The purpose of a scapegoat is to pass responsibility onto someone else. Usually this person is unsuspecting at first and agrees because they are trying to get along with others. This technique of passing the buck is very common with narcissists, sociopaths, and addicts. Narcissists can’t allow their ego to be tarnished by an error. Sociopaths do it for the sport of it. And addicts do it because accepting fault in one area of their life means being accountable in another.
- Don’t accept liability. Looking back on the two events, Monica had an opportunity in both events to be honest with her level of responsibility. Instead, she chose to take on things that were not her fault. This did not improve her relationships as the two individuals just saw Monica as a pushover and someone they can continue to take advantage of in the future. Had she refused to be their scapegoat, a level of respect would be achieved instead of contempt.
- Review past experience. Her feelings of frustration over being a scapegoat ran deep. Upon further examination, Monica realized that her brother used to get her in trouble for his offenses all the time. Her parents, trying to be impartial, told the kids to “work it out.” Her brother’s idea of this was to threaten harm to her if she didn’t agree to take blame. As a demonstration of his determination, he even lit her stuffed animals on fire. Her willingness at work to make excuses for her boss and assistant was subconsciously rooted in the fear her brother instilled.
- Stop being the scapegoat. Once Monica separated out trauma from past events, she was able to set new boundaries. She began by issuing a written warning with her assistant about her late arrivals and notified Human Resources of her suspicious behavior. Then she researched narcissistic bosses and found other ways to feed his ego. This pacified her boss and neutralized her assistant. Despite a couple of attempts to thwart her boundaries, Monica remained firm.
- Expose the abuser. Monica knew that eventually she would need to expose the scapegoating technique to prevent other employees from damage. But doing this too soon would mean jeopardizing her job, so she waited and watched. When she saw another employee taking the fall for yet another blunder by her boss, Monica spoke to that person and advised them not to take on the blame. This frustrated her boss, but by then, Monica had established a good enough relationship with Human Resources that her job was secured. Once Human Resources caught on, it was only a matter of time before her boss was removed.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Greetings dear listeners, this is another episode of the Remnant Podcast. |
| 0:22.0 | You can find us where all respectable podcasts are sold or downloaded or traded for various |
| 0:29.7 | goods and services or legal contraband. Let's skip over all the usual give us likes and reviews |
| 0:36.9 | and get straight to the conversation. Today we are one of these rare times where sort of |
| 0:42.7 | like with Scott Lensacom, I'm bringing in somebody who I feel like I know but I don't actually |
| 0:46.6 | know and then we've met for the first time mere minutes ago so we may up, may end up you know, |
| 0:53.0 | smashing each other over the head with broken bottles. Who knows? But I have with us Ian Bremer, |
| 0:58.0 | who is the president and founder of the Eurasia group. So he is, I think, a single drop of his |
| 1:05.9 | tears would cause Steve Bannon to burst into flames and he has come up with a new book on the Us |
| 1:12.6 | versus Them, The Failure of Globalism by Ian Bremer. Ian, welcome to the whatever this is. |
| 1:18.6 | Thanks. Good to have you here. I'm happy to be here. It's a nice place. So one of my favorite |
| 1:24.6 | questions when I'm on a book tour, which is amazing how often you don't get asked it, is |
| 1:31.1 | what's your book about? So what's your book about? Okay, let's start that way. Well, I mean the book |
| 1:38.6 | is about the fact that a lot of people, particularly in the developed world but increasingly all over the |
| 1:46.2 | world, are unhappy about the business community, the media and particularly the establishment |
| 1:58.5 | on the political side. That is, Trump is symptomatic but not in any way a driver, |
| 2:04.3 | a force of that, Brexett, same thing. And it's getting a lot worse. Right. And so this, the fact |
| 2:10.5 | that globalism, the fact that I grew up with this idea that we would have more open borders and |
| 2:17.2 | more free trade and we'd be the global policeman and that was something that not just our elites |
| 2:23.7 | said would be good for them but actually would be good for all of us. That hasn't worked. |
| 2:27.2 | I talked for them but it hasn't worked for the rest of us and it's causing far greater divides |
| 2:31.9 | in society which I think that pendulum is going to swing a lot farther before it comes back. I'm |
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