Hi, Onchante. How is everyone doing? Marvelous, I hope. Serena Shahidi, let me ruin your life. So this episode is going to be with Curtis Waters.

Who my love, but before that, before that I had a very cookie crazy night the other night and I need to tell you about it because I very often get asked what my worst date was, what my worst first date was, I don't know if you can consider this a date as you will see, but if it was, it was most certainly my worst date.

Okay, so this happened the other night and I originally had no plans for the night. I was sitting at my desk. I was just going to do work and be good. I get a text. No, I got a call. Sorry, I was speaking like the Gen Zier that I am. I get a call around seven or eight from a friend of mine who was on a date, mid date at the bar and I didn't know she was there, but she had told me about this guy and how she met him.

And she met him because he approached her on the train, which is a little sketch, a little questionable. The only guy I've ever given my number to, who I met on the train, was this guy who was dressed like a 1940s gangster and was drinking a red bull at like six p.m., I didn't even end up texting him back, but I do feel like that was a justified number give, you know.

Because I was just like, I get your vibe. But what she had told me, right, was that he came up to her on the train and like complimented her shirt or something. And instead of asking for her number, I was like, do you have WhatsApp? And because I've taught her well, she replied, what are you married?

Which this is a life lesson. If a man is asking you, if you have WhatsApp, he's either married or foreign. And I don't mean foreign like just any old immigrant. I mean foreign as in visiting, visiting, okay, preferably visiting the States for the first time.

If they live here and they're asking for your WhatsApp, that's an immediate now. That is a married man. And you can quote me on that. So she has that. And I guess he just avoids the question. That's called foreshadowing. That's what me and my best friend, my best DJ, JK Rowling called foreshadowing.

And I ruined the joke by not knowing how to pronounce her name. Good for me. I wasn't a nerd. But she calls me mid-date. And it's like, do you want to go on a double date? And I'm like, when? She's like right now. She puts her date on the phone. Mr. WhatsApp, she puts him on the phone. He tells me that they're at a bar and he just got a text from a friend asking if he was free. And I guess my friend was just like, is he single? We can turn this into a double date.

Obviously, I ask if his friend is cute. And he says yes. This was proven to be a questionable answer. I'll say that right now. And of course, I figured the date can be going all that well if she's so eager to turn it into a double date. But I was 15 minutes away. And I didn't have plans for the evening. And I was like, you know what?

Podcast content, baby, which I was not wrong about in the worst way. So I was on my merry way. I walk into the bar. And I see my friend and her date together. The friend doesn't there yet. And immediately I'm like, okay, I see what's going on here.

This is a bit of a mask fish situation, right? Since they met on the train. And I know I make a lot of jokes about being attracted to the elderly. But in real life, this man.

I mean, there's a big difference between like charming actor old and disgraced executive old. And this man was most certainly unmistakably giving the latter. Right? So we say hi.

And after a few minutes, he's like, I dropped a bomb on your friend earlier. And I'm like, okay, got it. I immediately now married clocked. Of course, what's up?

So yeah, he says he's married. And he's just kind of like, you know, that's how life is sometimes, which is very much like what men say when they chewed on their wives. And I just kind of sit there waiting for him to complete his sentence.

Like I'm waiting for a like we're filing for divorce. I'm waiting for a we're in an open marriage. Maybe even a juicy like my wife cheated on me first. But he leaves it at that. Just I'm married, not even an excuse.

And now I don't believe in I don't recommend believing a man who offers the aforementioned excuses. But I do feel like that's the bare minimum, right?

A white lie. Even a man who is currently on his honeymoon will have the decency to say that he's in an open marriage and that he's already signed the divorce paper or something like that.

It's basic decency. It's simply polite. But I never guess that point. So I just order a second French 75. And I'm like, okay, this is going to be interesting.

Then his friend, my date walks in and I'm like, okay, this is a theme. I don't want to say anything to me and about his friend because he was actually very sweet, but he was unattractive.

Uh, homely, also very old. And clearly uncomfortable. He just ordered a water and kind of awkwardly lingered for a few minutes. And then he turned to his friend. He was like, okay, I'm going to leave. Clearly he thought that we were going to be a bit more age appropriate for him. Right. And I respect that.

My friend's date is super obnoxious about it, not letting him leave being like, come on, like age is just a number. And I'm like, respect your friend's boundaries. He's uncomfortable. Don't be an asshole.

So eventually he lets his friend go and it goes so much further downhill from there.

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