Support for redeeming Eli comes from the Buck P. Mitchell Foundation,

efficiently avoiding tags since 1974.

Previously on redeeming Eli,

slam my balls in a microwave,

toddlers, Liam Neeson.

There's a man who owns a lot of bats.

A man came up to me, kissed me hard on the mouth.

Like a hippo with a bonneton.

A gust of wind took the towel away carrying it far out to sea.

And also he's got a short film coming up that he's doing with that breath.

Lovely woman, very good at brinch.

George, the large metal bin.

Many things separate man from beast.

Our complex language, our ability to empathise with others outside of our immediate family,

the way that one of us one day invented the bowl.

Of course, some animals seem closer to us than others,

like those chimpanzees that smoke.

But even they chuck their shit about and would tear off your jaw for a handful of bananas.

The big difference between man and beast?

Fire.

Even a smoking chimp has to ask a human to light his cigar.

Think about the last time you looked at a candle.

...