Episode 327: Parenting Older Kids Through Divorce with Christina McGhee
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 573 Ratings
🗓️ 12 June 2025
⏱️ 47 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Today we're talking about something that doesn't get nearly enough airtime: how older kids and adult children experience and process divorce. Whether they're in high school, college, or fully grown, your children still need you to show up as a parent. Today, I'm joined by the one and only Christina McGhee to unpack the complexities of divorcing when your kids aren't little anymore.
In this episode we dig into why older kids are so often overlooked during divorce, what happens when they start naming the dysfunction you shielded them from, and how to support them without spiraling into guilt or defensiveness. Together, we explore how to navigate these pivotal moments with intention, compassion, and a deep respect for your child's experience.
Here's what else we discuss in this episode:
- Why we sometimes overlook the needs of our older children during divorce (3:57)
- Advice and insights for parents of adult children navigating guilt over past family toxicity (21:52)
- Supporting adult children as they come to terms with the divorce and their childhood experiences (22:34)
- What to do when kids align with the abusive parent and you feel them slipping away (27:25)
- How to validate your child's experience without lying or vilifying the other parent (28:38)
Learn more about Christina McGhee: Christina McGhee, MSW, is an internationally recognized divorce parenting expert, speaker, and author of the critically acclaimed book, PARENTING APART: How separated and divorced parents can raise happy and secure kids and the founder of divorceandchildren.com.
Christina adamantly believes divorce doesn't have to equal devastation for families. While it is undeniably hard, with the right kind of information and support, she feels parents have the ability to be a child's absolute best resource when families change.
Currently, she maintains a select coaching practice and runs a The Co-Parenting Specialist Certification Training Program that teaches divorce professionals how to keep kids in the center, not the middle, when parents part. She also continues to serves as the Education and Training Director for The SPLIT Outreach Project, a non-profit organization responsible for two unique and deeply moving documentaries, SPLIT: The EARLY Years and Split UP: the TEEN Years. These films offer a eye-opening look at how divorce impacts children's lives over time.
Whether training, coaching or creating programs, Christina is passionate about disrupting the status quo, changing divorce for the better, and keeping the focus where it belongs… on kids. She has been featured on television, radio, podcasts, and in print around the US and abroad. A few places you may have seen her are TODAY Parents, NBC News, the BBC, The Times, and Parents Magazine.
Christina and her husband live outside Houston, Texas, and are the proud parents of four "adultish" children (two bonus, two bio.) When she's not busy restoring order to the universe, Christina spends her time taking in sunsets, searching for the perfect cup of coffee, and ordering more books than she can read.
Resources & Links:
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Christina's website
Co-parenting Specialist Training Program
Christina on Instagram
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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | the professionals that support families as they go through this process, the family court system, |
| 0:06.1 | look at older children as, well, they're adults, right? |
| 0:10.2 | They'll just deal with it on their own because they have the cognitive capacity to kind of process this on a completely different level than younger children. |
| 0:19.8 | We think and make the mistake of thinking that, well, emotionally, they can just handle it. |
| 0:25.4 | They can just deal with it. |
| 0:26.7 | And I can tell you, I've talked with a lot of older children with divorced parents, and it's anything but. |
| 0:43.9 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or |
| 0:50.5 | should you go. I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you |
| 0:56.5 | navigate some of the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. |
| 1:02.6 | I've been to hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side |
| 1:08.4 | of this process with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 1:17.3 | Hey everyone, welcome back. I am really excited today to have my dear friend and colleague |
| 1:24.6 | Christina McGee back to unpack the complexities of divorcing when your kids |
| 1:31.9 | are older. We don't talk about this a whole lot, but I think it's really important because sometimes |
| 1:38.6 | we have this misconception that, you know, oh, I'm just going to wait until my kids are out of the house and then we'll |
| 1:46.9 | file for divorce and it won't impact them as much. And that is anything but true. And so often |
| 1:55.0 | we skate over the real impact of how older kids and adult children process divorce. |
| 2:04.7 | So today we're going to dig into why older kids are so often overlooked in this process |
| 2:09.9 | and how to support them through it in a way that is more mindful of their experience. And also to help kids |
| 2:20.8 | who have lived through all of this toxicity. And now you're on the other side, but they're |
| 2:28.0 | kind of left still in the muck of it. So really important stuff here. As you know, |
| 2:33.9 | Christina McGee is one of my favorite divorce parenting experts. She is a leader in this field. Her book, Parenting Apart, if you have not read it yet, it's absolutely incredible. It is a must have for anyone going through divorce kids of any |
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