Episode 323: Understanding the Investigator and Enneagram 5's with David and Sissy

Raising Boys & Girls

That Sounds Fun Network

Religion & Spirituality, Kids & Family, Christianity, Parenting

4.9 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 6 November 2025

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Enneagram Fives—the Investigators—bring curiosity, insight, independence, and a calming, steady presence to both life and parenting. Sissy and David highlight how Fives notice patterns others miss, think objectively, set healthy boundaries, and dive deep into learning. Their measured energy and calm in crisis can be a superpower at home, helping kids regulate and feel safe. They also explore common stretches: retreating into the mind, mistaking self-protection for not needing relationships, cynicism/sarcasm when fear rises, and feeling drained by the constant demands of family life. The episode offers grace (manna for today) and practical growth steps for Five parents—express warmth (not just wisdom), choose presence over preparation, and engage emotions before problem-solving. For kids who may be Fives, they share ways to reassure, gently invite connection, honor refueling needs, and nurture quirky passions. Books mentioned in the podcast: The Worry-Free Parent by Sissy Goff . . . . . . Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Access Raising Boys and Girls courses here! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ . . . . . . If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift. NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. EVERYDAY DOSE: Get 45% off your first subscription order of 30-servings of Coffee+ or Bold+. You’ll also receive a starter kit with over $100 in free gifts including a rechargeable frother and gunmetal serving spoon by going to everydaydose.com/RGB or entering RGB at checkout. You’ll also get FREE gifts throughout the year! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You guys, could we ask you a quick favor?
0:02.5	Would you take just about five seconds to rate, review, and subscribe?
0:08.0	It doesn't take much time, but it means a lot and helps other parents find their way to what we hope is some helpful content.
0:19.0	Hey friends, welcome to the Raising Boys and Girls podcast. I'm Sissy Goff.
0:28.0	And I'm David Thomas, and we're so glad you've joined us for this conversation. Let's dive in.
0:42.8	We were just talking before this started about how much we like fives.
0:49.5	And how much we learned about fives from sitting with two wise, remarkable five parents.
0:50.2	Yes.
0:55.4	One of my universal experiences with fives is I always want to hear who they're reading.
0:56.6	Yes.
1:00.2	You know, they just read great things. They watch great things. Yes, they learn great things. We have so much to learn from the fives in our world.
1:04.7	We do. I'm excited to talk about them. So should we jump in?
1:08.9	Jump in.
1:09.9	Well, the five is often referred to as the
1:12.5	investigator or the observer. And fives bring an incredible set of strengths rooted in curiosity,
1:21.0	insight, and independence. We're going to talk about all three of those along the way.
1:24.4	So let's first identify some strengths and then we'll talk about
1:28.7	some struggles. I would first say fives are insightful and perceptive. They are so skilled at
1:35.8	noticing patterns, connections, and underlying truths, and they often see beyond the surface and can
1:42.2	identify what other people might miss. Yes. And fives are
1:47.1	analytical and knowledgeable. They love learning and excel at gathering information. A lot of my five
1:55.5	friends will send me articles about pertinent things regularly, which I love.
	...

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