This is Morgan Cage, gun captain of FEMA Containment Team Yeti reporting from Zone E, formerly known as Black Rock City.

Scout teams have achieved the following reel to reel recording from an empty RV filled entirely with grappa and duck reats.

I present the unaltered recording below.

Hello, this is Le Mans buffet page correspondent G or Maad.

I'm coming to you live, sandals on the ground as they say with an in person episode exposing the dark pork belly of the Burning Man festival.

My peacock feathered RV is chock full of desert sundries and necessary provisions.

One bottle of water, check, yoga mat, check, duck, check, tallow, check, grappa, check, check indeed.

I'll be going around for the next few days, gripping my grappa, talking to all the weird and wonderful people I see.

I shan't be G or Maad here on the playa, buffet correspondent of Le Mans.

During this so journey into the impossible, I'll be using the playa name Michelangelo.

I will attempt to record as much as possible of my experience.

Night one.

Today has been wonderful.

I've met genuine people from all across America, indeed the world.

I made the acquaintance of an Italian, currently based in Shanghai.

Trading on soy salmon futures and markets and plowing currencies, I could scarcely believe existed.

A beautiful Arminian attrap from the village of Glendale.

But jeweled as if she were a Bedouin queen.

Grover nor quest to the foe of high taxes.

Only today he was doing battle with a particularly soggy pair of socks, as he tried to leap, ungracefully as it turned out,

to the beat of Diplo in the marshmallow hut.

I invited a preferred young woman I met at the crystal castle to tell me what brought her here.

...