Support for redeeming Eli comes from the Buck P. Mitchell Foundation,

efficiently avoiding tax since 1974.

Making the perfect candle isn't easy. There was a lot to consider,

the delicate balance of wicksize, wax recipe shape,

and a certain something else, a june se qua, an ex-factor,

something that can't be easily defined but is absolutely required

to make a truly outstanding candle.

The average 8-inch candle will burn for around 6 hours,

6.5 if you're lucky, but a candle made in the Welsh village of Clankeeg

of exactly the same size will burn for 15 hours.

As a result, Clankeeg has been a byword for quality candles for hundreds of years.

On the biotapistry you can clearly see a soldier being soothed by the light of a Clankeeg candle

as he comes to terms with having his leg chopped off by a Norman.

It was Clankeeg candles that brought light to Charles Darwin's drawing room

as he stayed up late into the night looking at beaks.

Guy forked to plan to use a candle from Clankeeg to light the fuse to detonate the gunpowder

blow parliament in the 5th and November gunpowder plot. However, as we all know,

he was caught and the candle was shoved up his ass by one of his torturers.

I know all this because last year I was contacted by a resident of Clankeeg,

former slaughterhouse owner Eli Roberts, who asked me to save his reputation.

You got to remember one thing, right? People are essentially bastards.

Whenever you go, everyone hates everyone else, right? Life is a struggle. Life is a

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