from the podcast in which I read Jude the Obscure Out Loud and comment on it as I go.

Now, it's been...

I...

It's been a spell.

I mean just like a mental spell for me in terms of how I think about

Sue Bridehead and how I think about Jude and how I think about this book emotionally.

And it was really just a couple of paragraphs that did it for me because when last we met, Sue was describing her own animalistic, let's say,

pagan druidish personality to Jude. She was just kind of dribbling it out to him in a kind of, well, let's say it, obscure way. He came to visit her in Melchester right

Melchester and she was saying you don't you have no idea how bad I am you have no

idea he had proposed that they go hang out in the cathedral and she said no that that's that's that's no that's no fun

We should go to the train station. That's where the modern people are doing it.

And then she was saying, I'm not even that. I'm something else. I'm something from another time.

She's like some, she's like Captain America or something.

She comes from another time.

And I think what she means is that she's a purve, and she's ashamed of her own perversions.

And really all that means is she was rubbing one out to a statue she bought.

That's really all it means, but she's killing herself over it.

So she has basically accepted Philitson's proposal, right?

And she doesn't love Philletson, but it's like, you know, whatever. And I think her heart is stirring for Jude, but maybe she feels like she doesn't deserve him because to her he seems like some kind of

holy man which is a funny way of saying holy man you know he just seems so good

and pure to her even though yeah he got drunk that one time.

But she feels like, I can't.

...