Good to see you. Have you lost weight? You're looking great this morning. Come on in. I got a show for you. It's just for you. Just for you. Let's check your stock market first. Well, stock market is up. Good.

Good.

People are feeling patriotic and all that.

All right.

While you're streaming in, let me get my comments working on locals.

Boom, bum, bum, bum.

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the highlight of human civilization.

It's called coffee with Scott Adams, and you've never highlight of human civilization.

It's called coffee with Scott Adams,

and you've never had a better time.

But if you'd like to try to take this experience up to levels and no one could possibly understand it with their tiny, shiny human brains,

all you need for that is a cup or mugger and glass of tankerer, chelzer, stina, canteen, jugger, flask of any kind.

Fill it with your favorite liquid. I like coffee. And join me now

for the unparallel pleasure, the dopamine end of the day. The thing that makes

everything better. It's called the simultaneous sip. That's right. Go. Oh, it's just as good as I imagined it would be.

Well, I wonder if there's any science that they didn't need to do if they had just asked Scott. Oh, here's something from Arthos University.

The myth is bust, they say, that men do not sleep through a baby crying more

than a woman. Did any of you believe that men and women have different ability to hear a crying

baby? Well, I didn't doubt it, but I did

imagine that men are better at pretending to be asleep and not hearing a baby. It turns

out that women still do three times as much of the baby tending at night. And much of that has to do with the fact that all men across the planet

...