Episode 285: Weaponizing Neurodivergence in Abusive Relationships with Zawn Villines (Neurodivergence in Relationships)
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 574 Ratings
🗓️ 15 August 2024
⏱️ 46 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Zawn Villines, feminist activist and writer, is back on the show! Together we tackle the offensive and ableist ways that neurodiversity is often used to excuse abusive behavior. Zawn makes it clear that being neurodivergent does not mean someone is inherently abusive. In fact, neurodivergent individuals are more often the victims rather than the perpetrators of abuse.
In this episode, we dive into the myths around empathy deficits in autistic individuals and how patriarchy keeps these harmful misconceptions alive. Further, we explore how patriarchy weaponizes neurodivergence against women. This episode is packed with practical advice for women dealing with neurodivergent partners, focusing on finding fair and supportive ways to navigate relationships without sacrificing your well-being.
Featured topics:
- Neurodivergence is not a pass for getting out of household labor (5:12)
- Patriarchy and the weaponization of neurodivergence against women (15:22)
- What women can do when faced with a partner using neurodivergence as an excuse (40:05)
- You can accommodate a partner without sacrificing your life and well-being at the altar of their neurodivergence (41:53)
Learn more about Zawn Villines:
Zawn Villines is a feminist activist and writer who focuses on misogyny in motherhood and marriage. Her work argues that mothers are central to the feminist project, and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism, and that it limits women's lives and futures. Inequality at home is a form of abuse, and Zawn teaches women to push back on this unacceptable treatment and claim their rightful place in the family, at work, and in their communities.
Her weekly Feminist Advice Friday series advises people about how to live better and more just lives, and how to use their relationships as pathways to liberation and joy.
Outside of her activism, Zawn has written full-time about science, medicine, politics, and the law for two decades. She writes a weekly reproductive justice column, and runs a nonprofit childbirth justice organization.
She hopes to see more mothers claim the power and dignity of motherhood, and to end notions of mothers as irrelevant. Mothers are raising the next generation of resistance.
Resources & Links:
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Episode Link:
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go. |
| 0:17.8 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some of |
| 0:23.3 | the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. I've been to |
| 0:29.1 | hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process |
| 0:35.1 | with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 0:40.3 | Hey everyone, welcome back. |
| 0:47.3 | So, continuing on with our series on neurodivergence in relationships, I have with me today, the one and only, |
| 0:56.0 | Zon Valines. And today we are diving into the myths around whether or not being neurodivergent |
| 1:06.5 | means that they are inherently abusive or that they actually can't help in the house, |
| 1:14.0 | all the ways in which neurodivergence can be weaponized, both in the idea that I can't do |
| 1:22.5 | things because I'm neurodivergent and or people are neurodivergent, so therefore they are not able to experience |
| 1:31.0 | empathy, all sorts of abusive, weaponized ways that people misunderstand, in particular, |
| 1:42.5 | autism, but all forms of neurodiver divergence. So any conversation to have with Zahn |
| 1:47.9 | is amazing. And this episode is no different. So if you like it, please share it. And if you like it, |
| 1:58.4 | please head on over to Apple Podcasts and give it a bunch of stars. |
| 2:03.8 | Five would be great. |
| 2:04.7 | And so without further ado, here's my conversation with Zon forlines. |
| 2:13.2 | Zon, thank you so much for coming back and talking to us again. |
| 2:20.0 | Thank you for having me. |
| 2:21.9 | It is always such a pleasure. |
| 2:24.1 | So today we're talking, this is our series on neurodivergence and in relationships. |
| 2:30.4 | And one of the things that we hear very often, you and I and all of us in this space, |
... |
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