Episode 28: The Pain of Performing For Others and How to Claw Your Way Out with Toni Collier

The Best of You

That Sounds Fun Network

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

5 • 710 Ratings

🗓️ 10 November 2022

⏱️ 41 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On today’s episode of The Best of You podcast, I’m talking with the wonderful and wise Toni Collier who shares bravely about finding herself stuck in the performance trap, and how she clawed her way out. Toni's capability & high capacity helped her survive, but she also wound up exhausted, broken, and numbing. As Toni says, “I had a source, which is God, but the resources I did not have.” And she had to learn to discover a more authentic, wholehearted way. Here's what we discuss: 1. How capability, strength, and achievement can turn into survival strategies 2. Why we turn toward numbing as a way to cope with pain 3. What finally drove her to get help 4. How she started to find healthy relationships and find her way out of the pain 5. Practical ways she keeps the performer part of her in check now 6. What she would say to her young performer's heart now (Be ready for some tears on this one. . .) Check out Toni’s new book, Brave Enough to be Broken anywhere books are sold. Thanks to our sponsor: Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	If you've got a busy schedule, it can be hard to get all your nutrients on the go, which is why I have been so excited to discover Organify.
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0:28.3	sugary snack, I grab the Organify red juice, a delicious superfood punch that increases
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0:46.6	You can experience Organify's high quality superfoods for less than $3 a day. Go to www.organify.com backslash best of you and use code best of you for 20% off your
1:02.0	order.
1:02.3	That's oarg-a-n-i-fi.com backslash best of you and use code Best of You for 20% off any item.
1:17.7	Hey everyone. I'm Dr. Allison and I'm so glad you're here to discover what brings out the best of you.
1:24.6	This podcast is all about breaking free from painful patterns, mending the past,
1:30.0	and discovering our true selves in God. I can't wait to get started as we learn together how to
1:35.4	become the best version of who we are with God's help. Hey, everyone, welcome back to this week's episode of The Best of You podcast where we are going through the seven p's of managing perceptions, the ways that parts of us try to get us to cope, try to get us to show up in our lives that keeps us from authentic connection with others,
2:03.0	with God, and with parts of ourselves that need our attention. And today, we're going to talk
2:09.6	about a performer part. This is that part of you that can shape shift, that can play different roles that is adept at getting the job done.
2:22.2	It might be a part of you that achieves or it might be a part of you that just knows how to get the job done and knows how to show up in whatever way is necessary in order to earn the approval, earn the affection
2:38.3	of other people. And my guest today to talk about this performer part is a new friend of
2:45.0	mine, Tony Collier. Tony is an amazing woman who is the author of a brand new book called Brave Enough to Be Broken.
2:53.2	And she's also got a very adept performer part of her that did a lot to help her survive and almost got the best of her.
3:03.2	Tony is a coach and she's the founder of Broken Cranes, Still Color, and International Women's
3:08.1	Ministry that helps women process their brokenness and reclaim hope. And before we get started
	...

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