Well, there you are. You're here, I'm here.

All right.

We're going to find our comments and get them going so I can see what the locals people are saying to me.

And then we will blow your mind with the best show ever.

Boom, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

Good morning, everybody, and welcome to the highlight of human civilization.

Probably the best day you can ever have, but if you'd like to take this experience up to levels

that nobody can even understand when they're tiny, shiny human brains, all you need for

that is a copper mug or a glass, a tanker, chalester, Stein, a

canteen jugger flask, a vessel of any kind. Fill it with your favorite liquid. I like coffee.

Join me now for the unparalleled pleasure. The dopamine hit of the day thing makes everything

better. It's called the simultaneous sip and it happens now go

sensational best sip of the day well of course I'm gonna be talking about the LA

fires but I'll wait just a minute for people to stream in. Before that, I would like to note, do any of you remember, I can't remember how long ago it was,

so we're going to test you long-term memory.

It was a long time ago, but there were these two terror attacks, one in New Orleans and one in Vegas.

Any of that sound familiar?

It was so long ago.

Right?

Trump is doing it again.

He's doing that thing where time is completely distorted.

So when the Vegas terrorism thing was the headline story, I said to myself,

...