Brays?

Ma'am.

What are you doing for the holidays?

I am doing something I call the thankless giving, where I ride around with all my hoodlum friends.

You throw rocks through the windows of happy families.

That's so mean.

That I smoke unfiltered cigarettes in front of my baby who I don't take care of.

Then I sell the baby. Did you see the pardoned turkeys? I did not. No, is that they still do that? Why do they do that? It's because, well, it's fucked up because those turkeys are convicted of sex crimes usually. That is the most heinous sort of crime in the avian. Are turkeys avian?

They're birds, right?

Yeah.

I told you about the time the turkeys chased me.

You did not.

No.

I did it?

No.

Was it, were they successful?

Yeah, this is one time in a named location in the Bay Area where there are wild turkeys. Okay. And it was very early in the morning. And I was like, oh, my God, look, there's a bunch of wild turkeys. And so I was like, hello, turkeys. Uh-huh. And I went up to them. And they were not excited to see me. And one of them kind of like got in my face and then he got the other

ones all riled up and they started kind of flapping at me and I was like oh my god what's going on

so I started kind of back away and then they were charging at me and I had to like run down the hill

and go into a building and like slam the door and these because these fucking turkeys were chasing

me oh my god I would you know what I would have done if I was in your case? I would have headshot at each of them with a 44 magnum. I mean, they were wild birds. I was chased by geese often in high school. Geese, not good birds. No, horrible, but better tasting. I do love a goose.

I do love a plump goose.

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