Episode 268 | You Don’t Eat As…paragus?
In The Moement
Moe Mitch
4.0 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 18 March 2026
⏱️ 69 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Moe is back and he’s got STORIES.
After missing a week, Moe breaks down what really went down on his Europe tour… including a moment where his own opener might’ve crossed the line and a payment situation that left a promoter feeling some type of way.
From swearing off pizza shops forever (yes, it’s that serious), to wild celebrity headlines, to a date that took a supernatural turn, this episode goes from hilarious to unbelievable.
Oh… and at some point, you might have to accept a hard truth about your future kid
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I was in Home Depot the other day and felt right at home. |
| 0:06.7 | What were you looking at? |
| 0:09.0 | Pain. |
| 0:11.4 | Ironically enough, right? |
| 0:13.2 | And I felt right at home because next to me, |
| 0:17.7 | now I haven't had reason or stepped into a Home Depot in many years, but there I am. |
| 0:23.4 | And I heard a mom who was also shopping for paint next to me with her daughter. |
| 0:30.6 | Cute this little girl. She said, oh, wow. I want that one. And I want this one. Look at this color, Mom. |
| 0:39.6 | And her mom, I heard her mom say, yeah, when you get a house, you can get whatever color you want. |
| 0:46.6 | You ain't got no money. |
| 0:48.1 | You ain't got no house. |
| 0:49.4 | You have no need for a color. |
| 0:50.9 | You can't afford to like a color. |
| 0:52.9 | And I felt right at home. That's how I was raised. |
| 0:58.1 | When your mom took you to the supermarket, you couldn't afford to touch nothing. So you don't |
| 1:02.7 | touch anything. You don't get to speak. You don't get to walk by the cereal aisle and give |
| 1:07.3 | your opinion. Really? No, you're getting these fruity-Os. Oh, okay. |
| 1:11.3 | I didn't, uh, we got whatever we wanted. It must have been nice, Nate. It must have been amazing. It was. We did. Did you have like the brand name brand cereal? Mm-hmm. Oh, you weren't, no, he was eating. What? Crunch. Yes, Max. Now see, I, did you eat smacks? |
| 1:29.3 | No, I never ate smacks. |
| 1:30.3 | Did you eat smacks? |
| 1:31.1 | No. |
| 1:31.5 | Oh. No, we was eating... What? Couch and Crunch. Yes, Max. Now, see, I... |
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