Man, uh, something happens to me. I get reborn every day. It's a gift in a curse.

I wake up feeling like absolute dog shit. Weird random pains, chest pain, heart palpitations.

New pain in places I didn't even know you could have pain. Yeah. And then it subsides right here

before lunchtime and I'm so thankful to be alive again. I get that experience every day. I get

to flirt with death at the same time experience rebirth. It's something else.

Um, well, would you say you have thanks give, is it giving thanks? I guess it's giving thanks

for this wonderful gift of life, which I'm, you know, we're less thankful for ironically

during these months, but I think there's something profound in that. There's something profound about

finding transcendence from the body, reaching a higher plane of mental acquisition, reality.

You know, let me ask you a question. When your kidneys failed when you were a child,

I guess a man really can never approximate what it is to be alive unless you've flirted with death

at least once. You know, I guess anxiety gives you a daily approximation of that and if you suffer

from panic attacks as I do, yeah. If I, if that would have happened to me, if I was like

a beautiful little boy in like the 18th century, that all the like the pito aristocrats like to

come by and like look through the windows at like, how's he doing today? How's he? You all right?

Is he all right? Is he gonna be all right? They just peeked through there watching you.

Bays.

Is this the end? And they're bleeding me and stuff. I'm hallucinating and they're like looking

through the windows. They're like, I don't know about those scars and he's gonna knock a few points

off. It's damaged goods. I want him in one of those frilly dresses like they used to put FDR in

when he was a child. Yeah, your father's slapping you. Come on. Wake up out of it.

Like it. You know, you, we have to sell you to afford potatoes this month.

...