Episode 26 - Betrayal

This Jungian Life Podcast

Joseph Lee, Deborah Stewart, Lisa Marchiano

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7 • 2.1K Ratings

🗓️ 27 September 2018

⏱️ 67 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The experience of betrayal is painful, confusing, and damaging to one’s basic sense of self and reality. The betrayer is often seized by feelings that demand gratification and involve self-deceit, abandonment of responsibility and empathy for the other. Are there ever times when betrayal is necessary for growth, either as the betrayed or the betrayer? Can betrayal be used as a call to deepened feeling, increased consciousness and more creative self-expression?

The Dream:

I was in a house that belonged to my parents, but it wasn't a house my parents have ever actually lived in. My boyfriend and I were fooling around in the bathtub. I was enjoying myself but he warned me that we were making a mess. I turned around and saw that we had somehow flooded the bathroom with several inches of water. I started to panic about how angry my parents were going to be.
There was a radio on the floor that was an actual radio that my dad owned when I was a child. I was afraid to step out of the tub and into the water because I thought I'd be electrocuted. I was able to lean out and unplug the radio, and music that I hadn't realized was playing stopped. I jumped out of the tub to grab a bucket to try to deal with the water, but by then most of it had drained away. I was trying to scoop up what was left and dump it down the drain. My boyfriend wasn't helping and I was getting mad at him. He seemed to think it wasn't any big deal because the water was almost gone. I told him that the water had obviously drained into other parts of the house, causing damage, and that my parents were still going to be angry.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to this Jungian life.
0:03.0	Three good friends and Jungian analysts, Lisa Marciano, Deborah Stewart and Joseph Lee,
0:09.0	invite you to join them for an intimate and honest conversation that brings a psychological perspective to important issues of the day.
0:17.0	I'm Lisa Marchiano and I'm a youngian analyst in Philadelphia.
0:22.0	I'm Joseph Lee and I'm a youngian analyst in Philadelphia. I'm Joseph Lee and I'm a youngian analyst in Virginia Beach, Virginia.
0:27.0	I'm Deborah Stewart, a youngian analyst on Cape Cod. God. Above all, don't lie to yourself.
0:40.0	The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot
0:45.1	distinguish the truth within him or around him, and so loses all respect for himself
0:51.1	and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.
0:58.0	Guided by the observations of Dustoyevsky, we're going to talk about betrayal.
1:07.0	Oh my goodness, it's hard to know where to start.
1:12.0	This is such a complex and emotionally laden or loaded topic.
1:24.9	I think it gets almost instantly
1:28.0	polarized, at least in me, that to be betrayed is awful and there really is a genuine victim and there is and that the
1:36.8	betrayer has done something terrible.
1:41.5	So it automatically sort of wants to go into a good, bad, right, wrong kind of
1:47.3	split and it's much more complex than that.
1:52.0	I was thinking how betrayal is so ubiquitous that I can remember you know a
1:58.7	six-year-old niece you know complaining that her friend had a party and didn't invite her, and this searing
2:06.4	feeling of being betrayed that she had, that the phenomena of surviving betrayal, you know, happens as soon as we become social beings.
2:17.0	Yeah, and you know, one of the things that I'm holding is, of course I believe that we're all responsible for ourselves and that other people don't, you know, we all have sort of a choice about how we oriented difficult experiences and all that good stuff, you know, and no one can sort of make us do something, right?
2:39.0	It's, you know, we make our own choices, and yet I'm also aware that sometimes betrayal is such a devastating blow
	...

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