Do you do do do, do,

Romp-P-M-B-M-M-La-Dda-Dda.

Good morning, everybody, and welcome to the highlight of human civilization.

If you'd like to take this experience which is already

mildly orgasmic up the levels that even people who have done hallucinogens

can't even understand, all you need for that is a cup or a mugger

a glass of tankard shall's justine, a canteen jug or a flask of a vessel of any kind,

fill it with your favorite beverage. I like coffee. And join me now for the unparalleled pleasure.

It's the dopamine the day the thing makes everything better is called the simultaneous

sip. It's famous and it happens now.

Well, all the stories are funny today, but they're not all trying to be funny.

They just turned out that way.

Funny story number one. A man is being charged with grand theft

for trying to steal a self-driving car in Los Angeles.

He tried to steal a self-driving car.

Now, have you ever seen a show called Bait Car?

Anybody remember that years ago?

It was called Bait Car.

And it was a fake car that people would leave unlocked

to see if people would try to steal it.

And the crooks would get it in the car, and then somehow they could lock the doors remotely,

and you'd trap the thief in there, and they'd be trying to get out,

...