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Your Kickstarter Sucks

Episode 235: The Cableman's Lament

Your Kickstarter Sucks

Jesse Farrar & Mike Hale

Technology, Comedy

4.81.6K Ratings

🗓️ 24 January 2022

⏱️ 97 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Look to your right. Look to your left. Both of the people sitting next to you are Jon Voight, and they are both doing the most insane accent you've ever heard in your life. That's what these teachers in our woke schools want these days, and the Demonrat politicians are just cowardly enough to give it to them! Now what on God's green earth could I be talking about? There's only one way to find out. You're gonna have to go Blair Witch Mode and grab a Sausage McMuckin, and oh my God I just got a "too many characters" warning in this episode description box hahaha. This shit is long as hell (I wrote it in reverse order). Bye


Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.


Now folks, I won't presume to tell you what to do with your own money. But from time time, it's been asked, "Where do I go to get more YKS?" [citation needed] And by god, the only place I've ever found any more of the stuff is over at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Bummer, right? Believe me, if there were another way to go about it, I'd be the FIRST one to tell you. But right now, as it stands, any YKS fan in need of a few extra laughs simply must pony up a nominal amount of dough for access to YKS Premium.


This week's YKS is sponsored by Truebill. I've been seeing these commercials lately, and the guy who came up with Truebill says he hasn't looked at his credit card bill in a long time. Well he's probably pretty busy and honestly ya know what, they do put a lot of lines on there with all the numbers and crap. Who knows what's on there! That's somebody else's problem. Tell ya what, if you'd like to save a few bucks without the hassle of the whole envelope rigamarole, check 'em out at Truebill.com/YKS.


Also hookin it up BIG TIME on this episode? Athletic Greens! You know how I feel about tropical flavors. I am absolutely wild for them, whether it's in my cup or in my mouth. And when those AG1 adaptogens go to town on my gut health...that's when I know it's time to take on my to-do list (normally it's like, eat some lunch or something). Put your guts on notice and get a year's supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs of AG1 at AthleticGreens.com/YKS.


Finally, this portion of the episode description bloc just wouldn't be this portion of the episode description bloc without BetterHelp. You know, I think it would look kinda cool if they stylized it like this: betterhelp. Just kind of a casual way of doing it. Research indicates this would appeal to...millennials. Or whatever the good one is now. But that's above my pay grade quite honestly and I'm just the amazingly talented, charismatic ad copy in the episode description bloc guy. And now for my speciality, the call to action. Try betterhelp out today and get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/YKS.


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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Well, it's time to crack another six pack of kick-starters

0:05.0

of the decent stuff that's up to you, man

0:08.0

Cause I'll make a decent stick in my body to be the face

0:12.0

I'm knocking JL, I'm going mad

0:16.0

That's all, that's all, that's all, that's all good

0:20.0

I'll still keep drinking that garbage

0:23.0

I'll still keep drinking it up

0:25.0

Cause I love it, and I need it

0:29.0

And this is your kick-starters, oops

0:34.0

The podcast

0:38.0

Hey, boys, I'm just listening to your latest

0:40.5

training episode

0:42.0

And you're talking about the tips in the doctor's mouth

0:47.0

tips on a doctor's jacket, all that sort of stuff

0:50.0

Well, one funny historical fact

0:53.0

that I have learned is that

0:57.0

back in the day, which I take to mean

1:00.0

the early 20th century

1:02.0

or possibly before

1:04.0

Doctors would actually taste

1:08.0

patient's piss

1:11.0

in order to determine if they had diabetes or not

...

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