Episode 210: What are you tolerating?

Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

Andrea Owen

How To, Education, Self-improvement

4.7 • 517 Ratings

🗓️ 19 February 2018

⏱️ 17 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Last year I had a few clients who were dealing with some “man problems”. In a nutshell, dating men who were unavailable to them. One was having a relationship with a married man, the other was on again-off again dating someone who had made it clear to her he didn’t want to commit. Both were in a pickle. This is what they were used to, it was their pattern. Whether the men were physically unavailable for the long term (married), or emotionally unavailable, these women just kept picking the wrong partners. Much science has gone into why we pick certain people. My favorite book on this is “Getting the Love You Want” by Harv Hendrix. Other interesting ones are “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment” and really there are just too many good books on this topic to mention. But, what I want to focus on today is not just who they were picking-- which I think for many of us is an unconscious thing that happens-- but more specifically, what they were tolerating when they were already IN the relationship and knew their partner wasn’t good for them. Because so many of us have been there, right? Personally, I can vividly remember sitting in my therapist's office with my ex-husband who at that time was still my boyfriend. We were in our mid-twenties and he was not ready to settle down. He would regularly stay out all night, roll home drunk at 6 am when I never knew if he was off screwing someone else or dead in a ditch somewhere (turns out he was screwing someone else throughout the majority of our relationship. Many, many someone else's). After years of this and other disrespectful behavior towards me and many months of therapy, my therapist said to me, “Andrea, I don’t think he’s ready to change. You can either learn to tolerate it or leave.” He was sitting right there and he didn’t argue with her. We all knew it was the truth. Read the rest HERE http://yourkickasslife.com/210 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Ready to launch your business? Get started with the commerce platform made for entrepreneurs. Shopify is specially designed to help you start, run and grow your business with easy customizable themes that let you build your brand, marketing tools that get your products out there. Integrated shipping solutions that actually save you time. From startups to scale ups, online, in person, and on the go.
0:22.0	Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you.
0:24.5	Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com slash setup.
0:30.0	This is your kick-ass life podcast, episode number 210.
0:35.0	And here's your host, the girl who served it up straight with a side of crazy.
0:39.9	Andrea Owen.
0:42.9	Hey there, ask kickers.
0:44.1	Welcome to another episode of the podcast.
0:47.1	I'm smiling over here because I, for the first time ever, am recording this podcast episode from my closet. I'm sitting on the floor and they're
0:59.2	doing construction next door, which it's so odd because I live in rural North Carolina.
1:06.5	And our houses are fairly spaced apart. Obviously, there are some neighborhoods that have houses
1:12.5	way more spread apart than ours are. But coming from, you know, living in a big city where I always
1:18.1	used to say, like, the houses were so close together in California that you could hear your neighbors
1:22.4	fart that it's, you know, this is like pretty good spacing. So when there is something going on in the
1:28.8	neighborhood, I'm like, what, what? What is that? It's always so shocking. So my next door neighbors
1:34.3	are having their deck ripped out, including removing a jacuzzi, which is very noisy this morning.
1:40.9	So not only is it really noisy, but my dog keeps getting up and barking at them, which she also never does, because there's never any commotion outside except for squirrels, the occasional deer and rabbits and things like that. I've also heard that recording from a place like this where there's clothes around and a small enclosed space is kind of the next best thing to a very professional studio.
2:01.6	So we'll see if the acoustics are better and if the sound sounds better.
2:04.9	And we're halfway through the Daily Diaries.
2:07.7	If you're just joining me, we are doing daily podcast episodes this month.
2:14.4	And you might want to start from episode 200, sort of the beginning of this whole
2:20.1	kind of a story. I mean, there's, there's kind of a method to the madness as I've been creating
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Andrea Owen, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Andrea Owen and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.